


i cherish you in colors that don't exist [rewriting]

by 4419blues



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Achromatopsia, Chromesthesia, College, Friends to Lovers, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, M/M, Mentions of car accident, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, One Shot, Strangers to Lovers, Synesthesia, mentions of bullying, seungjin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4419blues/pseuds/4419blues
Summary: hyunjin has been living in a constant state of dullness since the beginning– a grueling monochromatic scheme stretches vast before his eyes. everything his eyes cast on is black, white, or the neverending grayish shades in between the two. He never experienced colors nor even knew what they meant, like an untouched canvas.that is, until a familiar man with familiar ways painted his life with unfamiliar colors under unfamiliar circumstances.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47
Collections: EQUINOX





	i cherish you in colors that don't exist [rewriting]

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my entry for seungjin ficfest and i'm really honored to be a part of this <3 i really hope i was able to give justice to this really amazing prompt D; hopefully, i'll be able to fix the tone of my writing in the near future heeeh
> 
> prompt #9: ever since he was young, hyunjin has always wanted to see colors. seungmin on the other hand sees colors when he listens to music. they easily became close friends because of their taste in music, and whenever hyunjin asks seungmin what a certain thing's color looks like, seungmin describes its color to hyunjin by relating it back to a song [like, "the sky is got7's you are"]
> 
> aka au where hyunjin is colorblind and seungmin has synesthesia

hyunjin has been living in a constant of dullness since the beginning– a gruelling monochromatic scheme stretches vast before his eyes. everything his eyes cast on is painted with black, white, or the neverending grayish shades in between the two. but even that only happens when he's lucky enough to visualize anything under the glare of the sun.

he was only one year old when he got diagnosed. usually, at that age, children should be able to recognize colors of the rainbow or at least distinguish one color from the other. at first, his mother, her only parent, dismissed the problem as him being a late bloomer. after all, one child's development may differ from the other. she didn't pay much attention to it until hyunjin frequently cried over headaches whenever they took a stroll hours before noon.

she was then alerted by her sister about his possible condition. it was all it took for her to set an appointment with his sister's husband– a renowned ophthalmologist in busan.

"mrs. hwang," dr. jung, the ophthalmologist, finally spoke up, sitting tensed on his swivel chair pretending to be calm amidst the news he will deliver. he ran a handful of tests on hyunjin for about an hour in order to confirm his initial findings. afterwards, little, oblivious hyunjin went to the humble play corner of the clinic with his aunt who accompanied them. "i know that usually by this age, children should be able to distinguish colors already. however, in his case, at this day and age, for him, it's... impossible."

"w-what do you mean?" mrs. hwang's hands trembled as she took a quick glance of his son cuddling a koala plushie. hyunjin looked so happy, so free of whatever he would eventually carry on his back.

"i may have to side with your sister's guess on this one." dr. jung pinched the bridge of his nose, struggling to find the right words to break the news. "mrs. hwang, your son has achromatopsia. this is also why he experiences sensitivity to light or photophobia. in time, visual acuity, or the sharpness of his vision, may improve but right now, we can only wait and prescribe red-tinted glasses so he will be able to see a little bit better... still without any colors. i'm so sorry."

at one point, she should've expected it already, knowing that her sister gave her a quick run-down of what might be wrong with hyunjin. but to hear the confirmation from an expert is a different thing. it was if when his brother-in-law broke the news, air got knocked out of her lungs. several questions clouded her head, the main one being about why out of all people, it had to happen to him.

 _achromatopsia–_ a rare type of colorblindness which affects one out of painstakingly 30,000 to 40,000 people. unlike the usual types of colorblindness, someone with this condition can only see shades of black, white, and gray– given that they are wearing special glasses or lenses which enable them to see better during daytime. this happens frequently to males, due to it being x-linked.

achromatopsia occurs when the cones in the light-sensitive area of the eyes, called retina, are non-functional. this abnormality, usually inherited, results in the interference in transmission of visual signals from the eyes to the brain. currently, there is no cure for this condition and a victim can only hope that in his lifetime, a permanent solution will be invented.

as an attempt to make hyunjin feel that he can live a normal life and that he deserves it, he attended pre-school at a tender age of four. to his luck, his teachers were very understanding of his condition. the kids, hearts still pristine, were also friendly towards him, although this could be somehow credited to the fact that hyunjin is a natural charmer with a warm personality.

life started to get awry when he entered middle school. while hyunjin felt like he belong back in pre-school and even up until elementary, the opposite happened in middle school. just like the normalized response of the cruel world to a once optimistic boy, they vividly deprived him of sense of normalcy by isolating him just because of being an achromat. it didn't matter to them that he was a selfless person with contagious giggles. in fact, they never heard him laugh after the first few days of classes. it also didn't matter to them that he did so well in some of the classes (one being math), just as long as they don't give a damn about colors like art class. at such a young age, he had a variety of words and phrases thrown at him by people who cannot handle rarity. that is why when he reached high school, which to hyunjin is a miracle itself, he tried his best to hide his condition. obviously, said facade didn't last long and he knew it would crumble down, just not so soon.

one time during the first few weeks of hyunjin's freshman year, his basic human anatomy teacher caught him slipping out of consciousness during lecture. said boy had forgotten his daily intake of caffeine as well as the fact that he can't doze off with his red-tinted contact lenses on. his attention got called on. "hwang hyunjin, stand up."

embarrassed, hyunjin stood up drowsily before bowing apologetically. he squinted at the projector screen in front of the classroom, trying his best to visualize and understand what is being projected on it, despite its brightness. in front of him was a semi-realistic illustration of a heart with labels and varying colors just for the sake of aiding the students in differentiating one part from the other. it was an utter _bull_ to hyunjin. the teacher cleared his throat before asking a question hyunjin will remember forever. " _mr. hwang, what part of the heart is highlighted in orange?_ "

hyunjin tensed up immediately after hearing the question. _orange._ how will he know what orange _is_ when he cannot distinguish _colors_? to someone with a normal eyesight, it is easy to answer that the orange-highlighted part of the heart is the pulmonary vein. also, from the perspective of someone with perfect vision, the question would sound dumb and easy. however to hyunjin, all components of the illustration looked like a palette of grey. completely a leap of faith, hyunjin pointed at the red three-chambered upper part of the heart, which is the aorta. a chorus of laughter erupted inside the classroom at hyunjin's answer.

"yes, hyunjin, _red_ does look like _orange_ sometimes but that is the _aorta._ i'm asking you, what part is highlighted in _orange._ " the teacher persistently asked hyunjin, eager to humiliate him.

hyunjin took another attempt _,_ hoping he would be lucky enough to guess the color. he shakily gestured at the purple t-shaped artery, which is the pulmonary artery. once again, laughter enveloped the classroom. the teacher frustratedly halted the noise by yelling at hyunjin. "god's sake, do you even know what _orange_ or _purple_ is? that's the pulmonary artery, clearly highlighted in _purple_ . how did you reach high school not knowing colors?" hyunjin's lips trembled, fighting back a shaky breath. _he didn't know, too._

when his teacher paused for a few seconds, he unclenched his fist, assuming that the whole thing was already over.

he was naive and quick to assume— _hyunjin could only wish_.

after running his hand against his hair, his biology teacher dragged hyunjin towards the front of the classroom, facing the projector screen. he forcefully grabbed hyunjin's right index finger and jabbed all the four chambers, two on both sides of the heart. " _this_ , _this. this_ is _orange_ . _this_ is the pulmonary vein. do you get it now?"

not trusting his own voice, hyunjin just nodded his head, strands of brown hair obscuring his line of sight. the teacher let out a sigh before motioning hyunjin to return to his seat. after that, he dismissed the class.

past the hallways and the door leading to the school's lone wishing well was where hyunjin used to sit whenever he was upset. yesterday, he was here as well, trying to calm himself after almost blowing his cover away. he spent the afternoon basking in the glory of silence and imagining scenarios in his head wherein he could describe the feeling of green or _see_ how colorful the garden is through the eyes of someone with normal vision. other times similar to this, when hysteria of tears stream down his face, he would rather wonder if the well was a wormhole that could lead him to his parallel universe self, defying the laws of geophysics.

hyunjin closed his eyes, trying his best to calm himself down. but the more he kept his eyes shut, the more he saw the judgmental reactions of his classmates during biology class. hyunjin felt like _a_ _loser and a freak. stupid and useless. different and a weirdo._ he cried, sobbed _hard and loud_ , desperately wanting to tune out the voices in his head and the wicked laughter from earlier.

hyunjin was so preoccupied in calming himself down that he didn't notice a confused (and curious) boy standing up from the other side of the well, face looking alarmed _._ as the sobs became more violent, he searched for the sound, conveniently walking towards the other side. there, he saw a ball of mess (clue: hyunjin)– eyes tainted with tears, and cheeks flushed and stained. instinctively, he sat down beside him, keeping a comfortable distance between them. he pulled out a pack of tissue from his sling bag before speaking up. "u-um, do you need tissue?"

the crying boy flinched at the stranger's voice _._ he looked up from his knees to see a pair of worried almond eyes staring directly at his bloodshot ones. he noticed that the other boy was extending his right hand, a pack of tissue on it. hesitantly, hyunjin pulled a few sheets before bowing down again to wipe the fresh tears spilling from his eyes. _hyunjin felt pathetic._ the stranger sat silently on the clean-cut grass while hyunjin continued crying. he didn't say anything more than the tissue situation and he felt thankful. on top of that, he maintained a comfortable distance (around four feet) between them.

when the bell rang, hyunjin's crying ceased, though that didn't mean he wanted to get up and attend the next class. firstly, he looked too disoriented and his puffy eyes would draw in attention. secondly, it's not like he could focus on the lessons without feeling tens of eyes burning holes at the back of his head. he lifted his head up, expecting to be alone, but he gasped when he saw the stranger from earlier still beside him, now sleeping peacefully with a beret sitting atop his head. hyunjin scratched his head. _why did he stay?_ initially, he didn't have the heart to wake his unexpected (but not really unwanted) company up, but he knew he'd be late if he wouldn't. he tapped the sleepyhead's shoulder before croaking out a "b-break time is over...".

the other boy's eyelids fluttered open, which he rubbed afterwards. when he looked at the hand that was resting on his shoulder, the older boy jolted awake. "oh, thank goodness you stopped crying. are you feeling better now?"

hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows– how is the stranger more concerned of his well-being than missing a few minutes of his next class? "i t-think so?"

"great." the other replied, a warm smile on his face. it seemed like someone flipped a switch on his brain since in just a minute, he went from yawning to being fully awake. he reached for a chocolate bar inside his pocket and handed it to hyunjin. "do you want one?"

"hey, break time is over. aren't you gonna be late?" hyunjin showed his digital wrist watch to the boy. _1:04 pm_. 

"oh..." the boy muttered, a giggle about to leave his lips. he just shrugged his shoulders in response before fixing his beret. "don't care. this is just my first time missing history class anyway. i've read today's lesson in advance. that being said, take this chocolate."

 _that's bizarre,_ hyunjin thought, but he didn't voice it out. instead, he took the chocolate from the boy's hands before saying a thank you. he didn't have the energy to walk towards the other building to buy a proper meal, so chocolate could surely help silence his grumbling stomach. the two sat in comfortable silence before hyunjin heard the other's voice once again. 

"by the way, my name is kim seungmin, freshie." oh, _seungmin– what a lovely name._ he extended his left hand for hyunjin to shake. hyunjin looked at the other with suspicion, before taking his hand in his. "i'm hwang hyunjin, a freshie as well."

"oh good, same age. well, hyunjinnie..." _seungmin_ spoke out, standing up in the process. he pulled hyunjin up to do the same with little resistance from the other. "do you like making wishes?"

"wishes?" hyunjin stopped himself from scoffing. _he_ is _tired_ of making wishes. he used to wish for just _one_ and _the_ _same_ thing but it was never granted.

"yes, wishes." seungmin spoke naturally as if they already knew each other before. he fished for a couple of coins from the front pocket of his bag and gave hyunjin one. if the latter was feeling snappy, he would've turned the offer down because he had given up on the idea of wishing already. "you see, whenever i feel upset, i go here to pitch in a coin, sometimes more than one, and make a wish. after that, i feel slightly better because i was cursing in my head or cursing someone in particular." seungmin bashfully giggled after his little background story. it sounded beautiful in hyunjin's ears that he couldn't help smiling at the other. "you should try it."

"me?" hyunjin dumbly pointed at himself.

"yeah, you. is there any other person in here?" hyunjin rolled his eyes at seungmin's reply. he looked at the coin on his palm, tracing the outline of the engraved characters in it. he took a deep breath before closing his eyes— here goes nothing. _i wish that this happy feeling lasts even just for today._ upon opening his eyes, he threw the coin forcefully into the well.

"hey." seungmin commented, eyes looking below the well. "was it really that serious?"

hyunjin laughed for the first time that day, thanks to seungmin's surprised reaction. as much as he was shy to admit it, he actually liked seungmin's company even though they only met less than an hour ago. "yeah. now your turn."

with a smile on his face, seungmin half-whispered his wish, loud enough for hyunjin to hear. "i wish that the person beside me would always be happy."

he threw the coin almost as forcefully as hyunjin, that the coin hit the walls of the well a few times before making a tiny splash. hyunjin smiled. _no one had ever wished something good for him in quite a long time. "now, my new friend, what do you think of some banana milk from the cafeteria?"_

but just like the old saying, never utter your wishes out loud. otherwise, you will defeat the purpose of ever wishing at all. 

the next day, hyunjin made his way towards his first class, english, 30 minutes earlier than usual. he contentedly pushed the door silently, until he heard violent sobs inside the classroom. to his surprise, the sobs were coming from ms. yoon, her english teacher. that time, it was only just the two of them inside. without thinking much, he went towards her and tapped her arm. "ms. yoon, is there anything wrong?"

ms. yoon bit her lips, debating whether to tell him what happened. but then again, she knows it won't take long before the news spreads throughout the campus. she let out a sigh before speaking up. "just a few minutes ago, my co-teacher called me. she said she has witnessed someone get hit by a car. i thought it couldn't get any worse, but the victim happened to be someone from the english club." hyunjin gasped. ms. yoon is the club adviser of the english club. the student must be someone dear to her.

"oh, ms. yoon..." hyunjin gave her a comforting hug, or at least he hoped it was comforting enough. instantaneously, she sobbed on his shoulder once again. little did hyunjin know, the next words that will come out of ms. yoon's mouth would drive him to tears as well. "kim seungmin, why must it be you?"

kim seungmin. the name rang familiar in hyunjin's ears. before hyunjin could realize where he had heard it, a lone tear cascaded down his cheeks.

_"by the way, my name is kim seungmin, a freshman."_

"no..." hyunjin whispered, tears now falling rapidly from his eyes. no, it can't be him, right? there must be other people named that.

they only met the other day, but hyunjin couldn't deny the euphoric feeling of being with seungmin— the one with inviting eyes, a toothy grin that emphasizes his cheek mole, a quite nasal (but comforting) speaking voice, and endearing hiccupy laugh. he is the personified combination of kindness and positivity. he doesn't know him well, but in the short span of time that they spent together yesterday, he felt better.

but of course, fate never fails to disappoint hyunjin because when the students filed inside the classroom, him already in his seat and ms. yoon standing in front of the classroom, he heard his classmates talk about _their batchmate, kim seungmin._

_hyunjin thought he will never be really happy._

ever since the accident, hyunjin never heard of kim seungmin again. it was as if his name was one of the hushed secrets in the hallways of the campus– not that hyunjin had close friends to even tell him what happened after that day anyway (thanks to him isolating himself from everyone). he also didn't dare asking ms. yoon anymore as he was afraid to reopen the wound in her heart. hyunjin, for the next few years, had to brave his high school life alone, defenseless with his destructive thoughts.

☆☆☆☆☆

after graduating, hyunjin opted to move into the city, more on to start anew and to work on being independent. he had already lost his teenage years to self-destructing thoughts and insecurities– he couldn't let those things alter the course of his life once again. to say the least, he grew tired of the cycle. his mom, although scared, understood hyunjin's decision. she had seen how hyunjin's self-esteem crumbled down his feet. 

if there's one thing hyunjin is proud of himself, it was the fact that he graduated with flying colors and impressive grades that landed him a scholarship. at first, he didn't want to believe it. when he received the mail, her mom had to pry it away from his hands to confirm that he did qualify. for once, hyunjin felt genuinely happy.

although hyunjin doesn't believe in the old saying about wishes anymore (because seriously, how old is he anyway?), he unconsciously still thanked seungmin whenever a major breakthrough happened in his life. although he “lost” the optimistic kid in the process, nevertheless, seungmin's wish for him somehow came true. he became his discreet unprecedented guardian angel.

fast forward to hyunjin's “moving out” day, his valuables were almost all packed up, mostly in boxes. her mom offered to drive him to his new dorm, just to make sure that he makes it to his new place safely. when hyunjin was about to seal the last box in his room, an envelope caught his attention. with curiosity taking over, he opened it, revealing a tiny plastic wrapper— _the wrapper of chocolate seungmin gave him the day they met._ a bittersweet smile graced his lips before putting it away along with the other valuables inside the box. hyunjin hoped that if seungmin is looking down at him, he wouldn't find him keeping the wrapper weird.

the drive to seoul was silent, but hyunjin could feel the tension in the air. even though her mom didn't wanna say it, he knew she was feeling extremely sad at the thought of them separating. hyunjin extended his hand to touch his mother's shoulder. "mom, we'll see each other soon, don't worry. i'll be alright."

after a four-hour drive, inclusive of the time they spent for eating lunch on a highway rest stop, they reached seoul national university safely. his mom tapped him awake, tears from her eyes threatening to fall. "we're here."

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


it took hyunjin almost half an hour to unload all his valuables from the car. before bringing all of them inside his shelter for the next four years, he had to ask for a duplicate key (room 305, it reads) and inquire about his roommate via a directory. the directory wasn't much of a help, however, because all that's listed on it are names of people and their room numbers– nothing else, not even their courses. when it was hyunjin's turn to check his, he squinted his eyes– the name sounds like that of a foreigner's. hyunjin happens to be staying with a guy named _lee felix_.

as if hyunjin was on a lucky strike, said lee felix exudes a comfortable level of kindness. when he unlocked the door to his assigned dorm, thinking no one was inside yet, he was greeted with a welcoming smile. "hello, hwang hyunjin, right? welcome to our dorm! you need help with those?" _oh, deep voice_. hyunjin shrugged while laughing. the guy before him has a smaller stature, compared to his, and some of his korean pronunciation was laced with an accent he couldn't identify what. his roommate introduced himself "uh, my name is felix and i hope we could get along even if my korean isn't expert level yet." hyunjin smiled, luggages still behind him, before bowing his head. as to not inconvenience felix, he responded in english. "hello, i'm hyunjin. it's okay, i'm sure you'll get used to it in no time. i'll try to converse in english if i have to."

felix grinned, flashing a nice set of pearly white teeth. he placed a palm on his forehead before replying. "oh, honestly, i would appreciate it more if you would talk to me in korean so i can practice better. thank you so much, though." hyunjin waved him off and assured him that it's alright. good thing he brushed up on his english lessons before leaving his hometown.

soon enough, the two warmed up to each other. hyunjin found out that his roommate is an australian-born korean, is planning to take up international studies, and a scholar just like him. unlike hyunjin, though, applying for a scholarship was just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. For the lack of better words, he applied just for the hell of it (and because his aunt convinced him to try it). but when he passed, much to his shock, his parents agreed for him to go since his grandparents from both sides reside in korea– they could check on him. at one point, his grandmother from his mother's side offered that he should just stay in her house, but felix kindly refused– he wanted to experience independence in a greater sense. he insisted that his comfort zone won't, in his own words, “help his wings grow stronger”. when hyunjin mentioned that he was an upcoming advertising arts student, felix nodded approvingly. "i wasn't expecting that from you, but you've made a good choice. you have the looks and the voice– it's gonna be pleasant to see you on tv. i'll even watch the news just for you." hyunjin just hung his head low to hide his flustered face for two reasons. _one_ , hyunjin is not used to compliments. _two, he's too shy to correct felix for confusing advertising arts as broadcasting communication._

the once extremely-insecure man did improve a lot in terms of his face, physique and most of all, confidence. unlike before, he is not ashamed of his condition anymore. him receiving a lot of encouragement from felix was a major factor. he also met new friends through him– jisung, a music student with a birthdate just ahead of felix's by a day, and chan, a literature student, also an australian-born korean. compared to his high school life, hyunjin thought that his college life is a lot better in more ways than one– either because it's true that people mature in age or he just hasn't met the nemesis for this stage of life yet.

_(of course, hyunjin hopes it's the former.)_

hyunjin experienced a lot of firsts during his freshman year– first tight friend circle, first sip of alcohol, first girlfriend, first heartbreak, first time exploring his sexuality, first part-time job, and even first time being an organization secretary. his first year was full of ups and downs, not that he wasn't used with the latter, but despite it all, he was able to sustain the status of being a scholar.

everything was peaceful for the most part, until major changes started to occur in his sophomore year. interestingly, all sophomores are required to enroll for an elective subject, related to their current major or not. hyunjin has recently picked up a liking for dancing, but since he accidentally slept through the first day of enrollment, he wasn't able to secure a slot for the contemporary dances elective. that made hyunjin take up a music-related elective instead– not at all a far cry from his first choice, note sarcasm.

thankfully, jisung also shares the same elective class as him, although he only told hyunjin on the first day. the biggest downside of having an additional subject (however) is giving up a few hours of precious sleep to attend early saturday classes.

"oi, starbuck's boy!" jisung called up from behind when he saw hyunjin walking towards the auditorium, a cup of overpriced iced latte on his hand. he slung his free arm over hyunjin's shoulder before pulling him to his height. "ready for our first day of saturday class?"

☆☆☆☆☆

it's a shame that although the elective is interesting, the lecturer is _fucking boring_ — jisung’s words. their professor, mr. kwon, darted straight to the technicalities of music right after introducing himself– he did not even mind asking for his students’ names! hyunjin poked jisung's shoulder with his sign pen 20 minutes into the old man's blabbering. "jisung, are music classes really this boring?"

"trust me, it's not." jisung yawned, feet propped against his backpack on the floor. "if it was, then i would've dropped out already. my major is a lot more complicated than this but i never felt bored. he's just another case of a killjoy boomer." 

for the next few minutes, hyunjin struggled to absorb the lesson, mostly because jisung was tempting him to cut their suffering short by leaving the classroom. after all, college professors don't give a damn if their students leave in between lectures, as long as their salaries are given in full and the students comply with the requirements.

as if a sign from the heavens to stay, the next few words of the lecturer caught hyunjin's attention. "anyway, have any of you heard of people seeing colors in music?" hyunjin scoffed, his mop of bleached hair (with the help of felix) vibrating at the action. _he can't even see colors._

" _duh?_ " a male student a few rows behind hyunjin replied unintentionally loud. when some heads turned towards his direction, he spoke in a softer tone. "i-isn't that normal? because i..."

at that, hyunjin turned his head, eyes questioning his classmate. how _the hell_ is that normal? how can someone _see colors in sound_ ? but then again, hyunjin can't see colors _at all_ to judge so he just dropped the staring.

"oh," the professor laughed before retrieving a piece of paper from under his desk, the seatplan. "mr. kim, you must be a synesthete, then, specifically chromesthete."

jisung's mouth went agape and hyunjin snickered at the younger before having the initiative to close it for him. the term sounded equally as greek to him. "chrome-what?"

"chromesthete— someone with chromesthesia, a type of synesthesia. For your knowledge, synesthesia, in layman's term, is like when two senses connect and kinda "work together" to produce an unusual sensation. in a kinda scientific meaning, it's a neurological condition where a certain information that was meant to stimulate only one of your senses also affects several others as well. so for chromesthetes, they see colors when they hear music.” mr. kwon stared at the ceiling to recall a few ideas. usually, chromesthetes have perfect pitch and are musically-inclined.” mr. kwon stared at the back of the hall, directly at seungmin. “mr. kim, do you sing?" _chromesthesia_ . hyunjin frowned. _why is that a complete opposite of his condition?_

before the befuddled student could answer the question, a student in front of hyunjin raised her hand, calling the professor's attention. "sir, how do people even get that?"

"simple." he walked towards the center of the classroom, acknowledging the fact that he had piqued everyone's curiosity. "genes. it's hereditary. could also be because of psychedelic drugs but not always and for a short time only. in some cases though, people become chromesthetes after a head trauma. example, _a car accident_."

later that night, hyunjin researched about chromesthesia and silently wished that he’d have it someday, although he knew it's impossible

☆☆☆☆☆

the next saturday, jisung skipped their elective to cover for his co-worker's absence in the ice cream parlor, leaving hyunjin sitting with no one for the most part of the class. all was well, his notepad full of notes, until the lecturer announced the one thing he hates the most– _a pair activity_. 

hyunjin prefers working alone. as someone whose working style is fueled by spontaneous bursts of energy only, he believes that it's better to finish everything on his own, based on his personal, but irregular, timetable. 

the probability of hyunjin being paired with jisung, the only one he's close with in the class and another chronic procrastinator, is non-existent, considering that he's absent and the lecturer mentioned that all absentees will do the work alone. _hyunjin wished he was sick._ to make things worse, pairs will be determined through draw-lots, according to the seat number.

hyunjin quickly pulled out his phone to text jisung. _"will be paired for an activity @ 7 in the morning... great, get me out !! of here !!"_

hyunjin’s phone beeped after a couple of minutes, causing him to flinch. he wasn't expecting the younger to be on his phone at work. _"you're gonna be fine, jinnie~~ pray that it's just a one-time thing"_

_"it goes without saying tbh... also arent u @ work???"_

" _21_ and _35_ , please stand up." hyunjin looked at the seat number engraved on his seat. _21_ . with a sigh, he stood up, before looking at the back portion of the classroom. an involuntary inaudible gasp escaped his lips when he realized who his partner will be– _chromesthete boy_. "you two will be partners. sit down."

partnering up consumed half of the time– who in their right mind would pair up 40 (50?) plus students for an activity? 

much to hyunjin's dismay, the paired activity is not a one-time thing— pairs will be working on a project for a month. hyunjin could blame himself for jinxing the whole thing, but he would rather put all of the blame on his professor to make himself feel better.

the project, which made hyunjin's head spin, is to create a song with your partner. it sounds easy at first but not everyone in the class is a music nor production major and it's obvious that the son of the devil forgot about that. to make things worse, the additional instruction is that the song should be about something that connects you and your partner. meaning, the professor is expecting students _to be friends with their partners_. hyunjin felt a chill run down his spine. making friends is okay but forcing a friendship is a different thing. what if he won't click with his partner? is there a way to bail himself out of the deal?

hyunjin faced the window and pretended that counting the crowns of the trees lining the pathway to the engineering building is the most interesting thing to do. "how will i bullshit this whole thing if my partner ends up being an asshole?" hyunjin mumbled under his breath. he was too busy admiring the view that he didn't hear someone cough for his attention.

"don’t worry, i’ll try my best to not be one, then." hyunjin's breathing hitched, clearly caught off guard with his partner's sudden approach. he sat upright as a reflex. "you heard that?”

his partner apologized with a peace sign. "sorry, didn’t mean to. can i sit here, though?"

"sure, why not?" hyunjin removed his laptop bag situated on jisung's vacant seat. he motioned for _number 35_ to sit down.

"thank you." the man in front of him smiled shyly, the corners of his lips slightly turned up. hyunjin resumed to his little activity. “are you doing something?”

"hm, not really." hyunjin sat up straight and faced his partner. "why?"

"oh, i don't know..." the guy subtly laughed. "it's just that you were pointing at something outside." 

hyunjin felt his cheeks warm up so he looked outside the window once again. of course his partner's first impression of him is a weirdo. "see, just thought i wanna count the pine trees i could see. nevermind that."

"that’s fair." chromesthete boy, the nickname hyunjin gave to his partner in secret, just shook his head, trying to make hyunjin feel less embarrassed. he offered a bit about himself, not that hyunjin asked for it. “I was doing that earlier too if that would make you feel better.”

"i guess we're kinda even then?" hyunjin just awkwardly shifted on his seat, his ankles crossed on the floor. he lifted his head up to stare at the other. if they're gonna be working together for a month, might as well make efforts to break the ice... with literally anything, even with a simple overused question. "where did you graduate high school, by the way?" 

"about that..." hyunjin's partner scratched the back of his head. "i was home-schooled for the rest of my high school life. i did attend physical school though but just for a week since something awful happened. i guess that's the best way to put it."

hyunjin just nodded his head understandingly, feeling somewhat guilty. high school is not a fun experience for everyone and out of all people, he knows that. "i'm sorry for asking such a question. i didn't know what to say and i didn't know you'd share such a personal thing."

"oh no, it's not." chromesthete boy chuckled in waves of hitched breath and melody. if hyunjin thought it sounded oddly familiar, he pushed the feeling down. "i'm letting you know now that not a lot of things offend me. it's behind me now. you don't need to be sorry."

"oh good to hear, then..." hyunjin bit his tongue to prevent himself from saying sorry again. he took interest with his phone on top of his desk, spinning it lazily, while trying to come up with something to say. his partner must've sensed the awkwardness in the air so he beat hyunjin to it— it's just that hyunjin didn't expect it to be in the form of a

_"by the way, my name is kim seungmin."_

"oh." _kim seungmin._ hyunjin's lungs felt like they were collapsing. suddenly, his ears could only hear the name being spoken on loop, echoing after each syllable. hyunjin asked suspiciously. "d-did you just move into the city to study? i mean are y-you from somewhere else?"

"yeah, kinda wanna start a new life. i wanna be independent for once.” understandable. that was what hyunjin wanted to happen to himself too.

with little courage in his voice, he dared to ask again. "do you... do you happen to know yeungnam high school?" 

seungmin visibly perked up at the sudden mention of the damned institution like it's a distant, beautiful memory. hyunjin could only gulp as he waited for the answer he’s not sure if he’s ready to hear. "the one with the _live well_ motto?" seungmin laughed but hyunjin stayed silent. "yeah. why did you ask?"

hyunjin's blood ran cold. so... _seungmin is alive? but why does it seem like he can't remember him?_ hyunjin shook his head, his senses feeling overwhelmed as his hands started to sweat. "look, it was nice meeting you but, i- see you around…”

just as fast seungmin's face sank at the reply, hyunjin scurried out of the classroom and out of the university. he kept running and _running,_ as if he could outrun his thoughts. his partner happened to be the _kim seungmin_ who vanished one day without a word. it felt like the ghost of his past is coming after him now that he's having a new start. the last time he heard seungmin's name _,_ something bad happened— not to hyunjin but to the owner of it.

to be fair, a lot changed about seungmin, including his fashion sense. he guessed he could cut himself some slack. seungmin lost lots of baby fats compared to when he was merely a high schooler— his jawline is now prominent. he is also sporting an eyebrow piercing on his left eyebrow which obviously weren't there before. if hyunjin would be honest to himself, he didn't expect that seungmin has a thing for that. but then again, his goody-two-shoes with rebelling tendencies look was from several years ago— high school changes people. plus, they weren't even able to formally get to know each other so he shouldn't expect seungmin to be anything similar to what he had painted him to be in his head all this time. in addition to this, his hair is now styled and parted in the middle, not a bowl cut in sight. his ears are studded, his double helix piercing taking the spotlight. as for his physique, he's a lot leaner than he remembers. if there is one thing that didn't change, that would be his hiccupy laugh. hyunjin felt stupid for missing the _signs_ basically being handed to him.

hyunjin definitely doesn't _hate_ kim seungmin or his name. he doesn't know the man enough to hold a grudge. in fact, he's still very fond of him up to this day. it's just that seeing him again for the first time in five years brought back the bitter high school memories and traumas he had been repressing ever since he decided to restart life in uni. he showed up in his life again like it was nothing and that somehow gave hyunjin a whiplash coupled with a drowning waves of emotions. he will recover from it soon, but he can't be blamed for being stunned and confused. 

_(shortly after, felix brought hyunjin to their dorm, a quivering mess, upon receiving a text message from him.)_

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

it has been a day since the awkward situation but hyunjin, carrying a heavy guilt in his heart after walking (running) out on seungmin, asked for comfort or knock-some-sense-into-me-please type of songs on a facebook group dedicated to suggesting songs. after a consoling talk with felix, he realized that his curiosity about seungmin _and_ his will to finish the task given to them reigned over the things that he once let hold him back. if he does want to reclaim his life, the first thing to do is to have some courage. 

_or maybe apologize first for being cryptic towards the other one._

hyunjin has been a member of the group since last month and quite frankly, he felt odd to be the receiving end of suggestions and not the other way around. usually, he's the one giving song recommendations. but then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. life is a turning wheel and it just so happens that he's at the bottom part at the moment, being dragged across the asphalt as the pressure (or fiction, felix argues) wears him down.

**_jinnie_ **

_helloooo please drop songs to listen to when you feel guilty that you walked out on someone else (jk, just comment anything abt being sad or regretful)_

it's a relief that after his post got approved, comments came flooding in quickly. must be his good karma for replying to others' posts. he scrolled through the comments section, skipping a number of songs that he's already familiar with, until one stood out.

_"try listening to got7's "miracle". if you're feeling blue, let this song make you burst in reds and violets. anw, that's sad and i get you. feel better."_

miracle is _not at all_ an unfamiliar song to him but he stopped scrolling nonetheless. hyunjin _loves_ got7 beyond human comprehension or any language that will explain what love is. thanks to got7, he got through high school. thanks to got7, he picked up interest in dancing. sadly, unlike the commenter, he would never be able to associate their songs to colors since, _well._ when he read the comment for the second time, hyunjin scrunched his nose up– are colors really this complicated? while the colors seemed very unfamiliar, as they always have been to him, the commenter's name isn't.

_kim seungmin._

"oh fuck's sake!" hyunjin exclaimed, head leaning against his bed frame, before throwing his phone on the bed. kim seungmin _again._ "alright, god. i'll apologize if that's what you want". he muttered under his breath.

felix, who maybe has bionic ears, looked up from his laptop with a puzzled expression, head tilted to the side. "what's wrong?"

"nothing. just shitty internet connection."

felix nodded slowly, trying to understand his roommate's sudden outburst. "alright, but god, have mercy on your phone." hyunjin just laughed in return. this is one of the things he loves about felix– the aussie respects his privacy by not being very pushy. after all, hyunjin does open up to him when he's finally comfortable to do so– just like when he poured his heart out on him the night of _that saturday._ hyunjin picked up his phone again from the edge of his bed. if he had thrown it a little harder, there would've been glass shards scattered on their bedroom floor (and he can't afford that to happen because he's a college kid on a budget). once he had unlocked his phone, the cause of his phone's _almost_ demise stung his eyeballs. _right, we deal with kim seungmin._ hyunjin's thumb hovered over the name before clicking it. when the profile picture loaded, he confirmed that the _kim seungmin_ who commented under his post was the kim seungmin from his saturday class — that same welcoming expression gave it away. a sigh escaped his lips after pressing the "message" button. _what will be, will be. there’s no other perfect time._

**_jinnie_ **

_uh, hi. this is weird but i'm your partner for our saturday class and the one who kinda sprinted away yesterday. i'm really sorry for that. it was really a bad move and i swear you didn't do anything wrong. sorry if this is so sudden and i only apologized thru messaging, but if we see each other again, i promise i'll apologize in person and not run away again. also, i was wondering... when are you ready to work on our project?_

hyunjin waited _and waited_ for seungmin's reply, negative or positive he will accept. his hands were sweating a pint every minute. after five minutes of _nothing_ , not even a _seen_ , he decided to take a quick nap for an escape.

☆☆☆☆☆

felix tapped hyunjin awake to ask him what he wanted for lunch because he insisted on ordering food instead of cooking— definitely a con of being lazy. hyunjin rubbed his eyes after his 3-hour _nap._ "wait, what time is it?"

"hm, 1:33. _so_ past lunchtime but you looked too peaceful earlier that i didn't bother waking you up. personally, i didn't want to do this, but i'm hungry and you must be, too. sorry for that." felix invited himself over on hyunjin's twin-size bed, his feet dangling at the side.

"lix, it's all good." hyunjin sat up while shaking himself out of slumber, a laugh following suit. "you could've just ordered earlier, though. you have a big appetite, i'm surprised you haven't passed out yet."

"yeah, i know but... ugh!" felix lied down and slung his one arm on hyunjin's torso. hyunjin happily welcomed the gesture— he's a fan of felix's cuddles. he pulled the younger closer, causing him to yelp, so he could wrap his arms around him as well. felix huffed, tiny hands hitting hyunjin's stomach. "whatever. i'm hungry, tell me your order already."

"hm, bulgogi sounds nice right now."

"gotcha!" felix tore himself away from hyunjin to walk towards the foldable wooden table on his bed where his phone is. hyunjin sighed, sitting up straight to stretch. after felix had punched in the orders, he cuddled with hyunjin again. the cuddlebug decided to kill the time by interrogating hyunjin about his saturday elective.

"so, how's our _budding musician_ over here?" felix asked while staring at the ceiling, his feet propped against the off-white wall. hyunjin hissed.

"i told you not to call me that."

"can't help it." felix just laughed as he let his heels pound the wall. hyunjin mocked his laughter. "aw, c'mon, hyunnie. i'm sure there's still good stuff about it. for starters, you have jisung as your classmate."

"man, just kiss him already if you talk about him too much. he's not as fun of a seatmate as you think he is." hyunjin rolled his eyes in disbelief while holding back a chuckle. felix scrunched his face up.

"how many times do i have to tell you that i am _not_ interested in him like that." felix straightened his legs on the bed, his calves feeling a little bit sore and out of blood. "but if you insist, i could make out with him in front of you."

"ew, please don't. i want my peace of mind." felix cackled, his eyes shut tight. his one arm found its way on hyunjin's chest and let it drape on there. "but the sad part about this is that he would probably be down for it, all for my agony."

"tell him i love platonic kisses, then."

"noted. no homo?"

“hwang hyunjin, we’re all _homo._ ”

the sound of the doorbell rang through the house, cutting short the two's discourse. felix volunteered to stand up, his hand reaching out to hyunjin. "your share of fees, please."

after gobbling up their late lunch, they opted to have a netflix party, courtesy of hyunjin's monthly subscription. sunday night rolled in with ease, seungmin's awaited reply ultimately forgotten.

☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


the next day, or dare he say _late night_ as it was only 2 am, hyunjin felt his throat constrict. still in his sleepy and hazy state, he walked towards the fridge to heal his parched body. it's not even hot and humid yet he somehow felt deprived of water. he figured it must've been because he cried a lot for the rest of his _the land before_ time marathon with felix. he wasn't alone, though. felix could fill up a bucket of his own with empathetic tears.

as the water made its way halfway down his throat, a thought crossed his mind, something that he wasn't able to think about for half a day— seungmin's reply (or the lack of one). hyunjin didn't like that the thought was followed by him choking on ice-cold water, though.

he silently made his way towards the bedroom, skidding and more awake. he rummaged through the dim light for his phone. a part of him didn't want to get a reply, probably out of anxiety and the fact that he wouldn't know what to say in return. but then again, he still wanted to make it up for him, after practically ditching what was supposed to be their first day as partners. hyunjin figured that a reply would still be superb.

_and yes, he did get it._

  
  
  


**kim seungmin**

_oh, hello :) didn't expect to see you in that group. talk about having a small world._

**kim seungmin**

_tbh i did get shocked when you ditched me but ofc who am i to ask about that._

**kim seungmin**

_it's nothing to me now. don't mind it anymore. and if you do wanna work on it already, i'm willing to meet you tomorrow at least so we could talk about it in person (if you are free) ^_^_

hyunjin blinked his eyes rapidly.

**_jinnie_ **

_you're not mad... at all??_

hyunjin bit his fingernails, almost down to his index finger’s flesh. a reply shouldn't be freaking him out like this but here he is.

**_kim seungmin_ **

_i told you already. now go sleep with a peaceful heart. it’s a little funny that you posted about me on that page tho_

but that didn’t happen.

_much to hyunjin's surprise, the tension between them broke off as fast as it was built. they talked for a little while about uni and then a little bit about got7— a staple for every conversation. hyunjin thought to himself that this is a great opportunity to rebuild a friendship cut short by fate. somewhere in between their call, hyunjin had the courage to ask if he still remembers him after all those years of not talking._

_"will you hate me for my answer?"_ seungmin nervously asked hyunjin from the other line.

_"no...t sure."_

_"can you please remind me how we met?"_

_"please don't tell me you have amnesia."_

_"i’d say i’m kinda lucky i didn’t and don't. i just have a shitty memory, that's all. i apologize."_

_t_ here was a frown on hyunjin's face while relieving one of his few best memories from high school. how seungmin saw him bawling his eyes out that day but cheered him up by having a mini campus tour and skipping classes. one specific memory flipped the switch on, though.

_"i still have the chocolate wrapper with me."_

_"oh, i think i know you now. crybaby dude?"_

_“oh, fuck you for saying that.”_

_“just kidding. please don’t block my number.”_

☆☆☆☆☆

tuesday was when the two met for the second time. initially, they had planned on meeting up on monday but seungmin had to attend an emergency assembly arranged by the dean. that was when hyunjin found out that the other is a dean's lister.

_"sorry, hyunjin. can we meet on tuesday instead? the dean called for an emergency meeting... annoying among us player wannabe -_-"_

seungmin tried to look for hyunjin inside the campus. being the little brat that he is, hyunjin posed a challenge that whoever finds out about the other's schedule first will be treated with mint chocolate ice cream. to seungmin’s luck, he found the blond man coming out of the philosophy lecture room. "oi hwang hyunjin!"

hyunjin looked around, searching for the person who called his name out. the hallways are a little bit congested due to some other classes in the building finishing as well. everyone is quite in a hurry to leave, either for break time or to go to their next class. seungmin unzipped his messenger bag to whip out his pencil case and wave it in the air. "hyunjin... pencil case up!"

hyunjin rolled his eyes before looking for a certain pencil case in the sea of people. looks like he lost his own bet. he shook his head in disbelief upon seeing it and walked towards where seungmin is, pushing past a few clumsy bodies. "puppy pencil case, huh?"

"shut up, it was on sale." seungmin mumbled as he stuffed it back inside his bag.

"wait, seungmin. do you just have a class in this building, too or do you know my sched? why are you here? do you really wanna win that much?"

"one question at a time, please." seungmin crossed his arms, making hyunjin do the same thing. "first of all, no i don't, but on friday i do. yeah i know your sched... and i want to ask you something. it's not about mint choco though but i am waiting for my prize."

"what?" hyunjin furrowed his eyebrows. seungmin could've just messaged him. "and how did you find out so fast? stalker much?"

"here you go again with multiple questions in one breath." hyunjin just clicked his tongue at seungmin's response. "hm, i wanted to ask if you wanna eat lunch together. also, lee felix."

"what about felix?"

"i mean, i got your sched from felix."

"you know felix? how?" the two started walking outside the building, seungmin a little ahead of hyunjin. he greeted a few people with a wave before answering the other's question.

"uh, i mean, who doesn't anymore?"

seungmin has a point. felix is popular among the student body. perks of having a bubbly personality, striking deep voice contrasting his charming face, and insane dancing skills. felix is known by everyone and friends with probably everyone hyunjin (and seungmin) knows. "but yeah, i don't just know him." seungmin pointed at the pin on the strap of his bag— a spherical glossy bronze representing a globe with grid lines in it and an overlapping speech bubble. "were friends. international studies represent! didn't i tell you the other day, you sleepyhead?"

_oh yeah_ , hyunjin thought. he slapped his forehead a little forcefully. "not my fault i zoned out at 3 am, though. i'm a growing child." seungmin shook his head. "wait, then why did you take music elective?"

"i could ask you the same thing, mr. ad arts. i have other interests too, you know, and i wanna explore them."

"for the record, i wanted contemporary dance but i ran out of slots."

"right, yeah. same thing. c'mon, let's just have some pasta."

seungmin's not-so-subtle invite prompted the two to keep going, walking past the life science's department garden and towards the newly-erected semi-high-end cafeteria near math building. if hyunjin thought seungmin is quite insane for wanting to spend a little more than the average college boy, he chose to shut up. personally, hyunjin avoid going there because he is what chan would say a "frugal boy". but once he had stepped inside the quaint place, the aroma of honey butter chicken and garlic bread taunting his nostrils, he realized that it's okay to go over his budget for the week.

since the place is fairly new, some crews were busy hanging synthetic plant vines and installing a bookshelf when they entered. nonetheless, they momentarily stopped what they were doing to greet. hyunjin thought it was sweet so they both returned the greeting.

after ordering, they made themselves welcome in one of the booths near the glass window, sitting adjacent to each other. seungmin stretched his feet to nudge hyunjin's with a teasing smile. hyunjin angled his head to the side with a scowl on his face. "don't tell me this is where i should treat you with mint choco."

hyunjin swore he saw how seungmin's expression turned into something that confirmed his suspicion. "if you wanna..."

"no?" hyunjin whispered-shouted as he kicked seungmin's feet under the table, dirtying the other's white sneakers. seungmin looked mortified. "this place will cost me my lungs and my kidneys."

"i'm just kidding, come on." seungmin laughed as he played with the table napkin holder on top of the table. it's weird to him that in such a short time, they have grown a little closer, thanks to seungmin's friendly personality and hyunjin's talkativeness. "but did you really have to dirty my shoes?"

"your reaction was worth it."

their banter stretched on for ten solid minutes, though not one of them decided to back down because it did mask the feeling of hunger, until their orders arrived— chicken pesto with a couple of garlic bread and soda for hyunjin while lasagna with sour & cream fries on the side and medium-sized milkshake for seungmin. miraculously, for a few minutes, their food was the only way to shut them up, save for their occasional hums of satisfaction. 

in the middle of seungmin lifting his fork up to his mouth, hyunjin suddenly popped a question. "so, when do you wanna work on our pair activity?"

"oh right," seungmin sipped on his milkshake to wash away the remnants of food before pulling out his phone to check felix's message from earlier. "lix said you don't have classes tomorrow. that's great because i don't too. what do you think?"

"yeah, i'm cool with that." hyunjin wiped his mouth with a 2-ply tissue. "but honestly, felix sending my sched to you is still creepy as hell, though. i'll nag him to death later.

"sorry... connections... i just wanna get to know you again like old times"

"you're making it sound like we were friends."

"oh we weren't?" seungmin raised his eyebrows before confidently speaking. "didn't you keep the wrapper of chocolate i gave you? that's weirder."

"hush... i was planning to journal but i never got around to it anymore. i guess it's not for me." hyunjin, once again, reached out for seungmin's (dirty) white shoes, but the younger read through his reaction and dodged the attack. "no i mean, like as if we got to know each other for long time"

"oh right... sorry for that. i just dipped out of everyones lives. trauma..."

"it's okay. you didn't want it to happen anyway. no one wanted that to happen." yeah and if hyunjin will be honest, it was actually upsetting because he could've been best friends with seungmin now.

"you're wrong, sir. there is probably at least one." seungmin propped his elbow on the table to lean on his right hand. hyunjin felt intrigued.

"oh? who?"

"hanmin? that bitch wanted to be the english club president but he was just voted as the vice president. how much do you wanna bet he was too enthused to assume the position i left?"

"my left leg..." hyunjin snickered before digging into his food again, close to running cold. "honestly he's an asshole. i don't wanna hear his name ever again. that bitch made my high school life a living hell.

"where is he now?"

"i dof know." hyunjin spoke with a mouthful of food, not at all caring if he looked ridiculous with puffy cheeks. "also i don't care. eat your pasta."

"wow so bossy... okay" hyunjin giggled at seungmin's response before shoving a food inside his mouth almost at the same time seungmin did. “I have one question, though.”

“what?”

“why did you run away last saturday?”

hyunjin felt like choking on his pasta, but he masked it by helping himself with the soda. with a sigh, he replied. “see, i wanted to restart life and you popped out of nowhere like a ghost. of course, i would freak out.”

“right, that makes sense. did you think i was dead the whole time?”

“pretty much.” seungmin only chuckled in reply.

after all these years, thankfully, hyunjin felt comfortable in seungmin's company— none of their questions or the topic of their discussion invasive, though not all goofs. there was just a visible shift in the mood when seungmin asked a simple question.

_“hyunjin, can you please reach for the ketchup? there’s a rack of condiments behind you. thanks.”_

normally, hyunjin would have no trouble picking out which is ketchup or not, but the cafeteria just had to change the bottles of the condiments to transparent, aesthetic containers with no godforsaken labels. hyunjin hissed under his breath. he had an internal debate whether he should break the news to seungmin or make a (not at all) lucky guess. he went for the second option. he reached for the bottle with dark, thick liquid. “here.”

“thanks!”

when hyunjin did not hear anything from seungmin for a few seconds, who happily squeezed a generous amount of the content onto his dipping bowl, hyunjin thought he was in the clear. a scream of agony proved that otherwise.

“fuck, my tongue is burning!”

hyunjin peeled his eyes off his own food to look at seungmin who was hurriedly reaching for his banana milkshake. It finally dawned on him— he handed him a hot sauce. “oh my god, i’m sorry!”. he watched as the brunette downed his drink in large gulps, in horror and with guilt. he guessed he should’ve just went for the first option.

once seungmin had recovered already, hyunjin profusely apologized. “i’m so sorry, i really didn’t know.”

“It’s okay now.” seungmin sighed, his lips still throbbing. “the bottles had no labels and it’s a usual thing to confuse ketchup and hot sauce because they’re kinda both red. just _please_ don’t kill me again like this.”

“sorry.”

“no worries. just win me back with an added scoop of mint choco once you feel like finally giving my prize.”

“you manipulative bitch.”

“hey, why are you cursing me out like i’m the one at fault?”

the two finished up their meals after another ten minutes. after making sure they didn’t leave any valuables behind, they exited the cafeteria a few minutes before they would have to sprint for their next classes.

“see you tomorrow?” seungmin adjusted the strap of his bag. hyunjin’s next class is in the eastern part while seungmin’s is in the southern.

“yeah, text me what time later. i can’t believe we forgot to talk about that.” 

“likewise… also gotcha! study well, hyunjin.”

“you too, i guess.” hyunjin chuckled. it goes without saying because seungmin’s brain is massive. when the younger was about to turn on his heels, hyunjin suddenly screamed at the older. “also, about the situation earlier!” seungmin turned around and tilted his head to signal hyunjin to continue. “i’m an achromat. i can’t see colors. sorry, i should’ve told you earlier. 

during his language and culture subject, hyunjin received a text message while he was taking down notes.

_“i didn’t know… sorry for what i said earlier…”_

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

“felix, i’m heading out!” hyunjin screamed through the kitchen with an almost-finished mug of home-brewed in his hand. felix, originally lying down, sat up from the sofa.

“this early? thought you have no class?”

“thought you should know that i’m heading out to work on a project with kim seungmin since you gave him my schedule without my permission and you’re friends with him? also early? it’s 12:03 pm. ” hyunjin deadpanned, half-jokingly, and felix’s eyes widened. “yeah… bye lix.”

“bye. stay safe.”

it didn’t take hyunjin seven minutes to reach seungmin’s dorm complex since chan is also from there, just a floor above where seungmin stays. he checked on his phone once more to make sure he’s at the right door before knocking. shortly after, the knob clicked from the other side. the door revealed an embarrassed seungmin brushing his teeth.

“sowy, my alarm dib not wake me up.” seungmin opened the door wider to let hyunjin in. he gestured for him to sit on the couch. “you war sobthing while waiting?”

“no, don’t mind me. keep brushing your teeth, stinky.”

“are you–” seungmin was cut off by the sound of bulb exploding, followed by a shirek. The two exchanged looks in surprise and confusion. he spat the toothpaste out and rinsed his mouth. “hyung, are you dead?”

“what the…” seungmin’s roommate exclaimed, which was followed by a whine. “why are you the bane of my existence?.”

“hyung, can you stop being embarrassing for once? we got a guest over.” at that, hyunjin tried his best to stifle his laughter.

“maybe if you knew how to change your century-old cheap lightbulb then i wouldn’t.” hyunjin wasn’t able to contain his laughter anymore. “at your grown a–”

“ya, lee minho that’s enough!”

“whatever you say, baby~” seungmin’s roommate, in the name of _lee minho_ , peeked outside what must be seungmin’s room. “that’s hyung for you, you brat.” he turned to look at hyunjin when he followed seungmin’s gaze. as if there was not a fiasco that unfolded just minutes ago, the older spoke cooly. “oh, hey there. i’m minho. nice to meet you. is seungminnie here a bad friend? i see he has not given you at least a glass of water.”

seungmin hissed. “when i said you should stop being embarrassing, i didn’t mean you should embarrass me, fucker.”

hyunjin tuned out seungmin. “hi, hyung. call me hyunjin. yeah, i guess you could say that.”

“what the hell? you said you didn’t want any–”

“is that so? well, you wanna order ramen? i heard seungmin’s wallet is pretty thick” 

“hyung, is my wallet with you again–”

“free stuff, good stuff. why not?” hyunjin giggled before going for a distant hi-five. “punch the order in.”

“sure, let me just–”

“hyung can you please _not_?” seungmin sighed in defeat. hyunjin has not seen seungmin this worked up. he enjoys seeing this side of him, though.

“alright, just kidding. don’t cry.” minho walked out of the room to pinch seungmin’s cheek using his right hand (to which the younger reacted negatively), his other one adjusting the tote bag on his shoulder.. “by the way, i’m heading out now. take care of hyunjin. bye~”

hyunjin returned the gesture with a smile on his face.

“i don’t care. stub your toe for all i care.”

“don’t be so difficult. i’ll fix the light in your room later. i just don’t wanna be late for my class.” with that, the door shut closed before seungmin could reply. 

seungmin walked over to hyunjin with an eyeroll. “sorry for that little show. i hope you were entertained.”

“very much.” hyunjin laughed while hugging one of the throw pillows. “he’s a pretty chill guy. it’s not a problem.”

“why does everybody love that bitch? see, even when felix came over, they joined forces in pissing me off.”

hyunjin just shrugged before propping his feet on the table, no shoes, to make himself more comfortable. “i already said why. what do you wanna do first?” 

“i don’t know… i don’t even know how to start the project.”

“me neither.” hyunjin ran his hand against his shoulder-length hair— a habit of his when he needs to think. seungmin slumped on the couch. “what if we watch a movie?”

“i thought you wanna work on the project?”

“i thought our prof made it clear that the song should be about what connects us, though? we don’t even know what yet!” 

hyunjin has a point. after deciphering whether hyunjin is serious or not, seungmin gave in. “fine, what do you wanna watch?”

“let me browse.”

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


hyunjin and seungmin chose to watch “koe no katachi”, hyunjin’s pick. seungmin opened a total of three bags of chips to snack on, the contents poured on the clear bowl before them, while hyunjin set the tv up.

see, seungmin warned hyunjin enough that it’s a pretty sad movie (according to felix), but hyunjin waved the younger off. instead, he called him a coward.

amusingly, 45 minutes into the movie, seungmin felt something warm against the back of his hand, specifically the one beside hyunjin.

hyunjin panicked. he tried his best to discreetly wipe his tears away by pretending to push his hair back, his palms rubbing his eyes. Afterwards, he pretended to stretch. "yes, why would you think otherwise?"

“you sure?” seungmin asked once more, pausing the movie. hyunjin whined internally. he didn’t dare meet seungmin’s eyes, afraid that the latter would see how bloodshot his eyes are.

“yeah, yeah. don’t pause the movie.”

seungmin smiled. hyunjin really is a crybaby. instead of dragging the conversation longer, he pressed _play_ on the remote and let the movie roll in. sometime when the movie reached past the first-hour mark, seungmin felt something suddenly bump his shoulder. stunned, he turned his attention towards the source of pressure, hyunjin’s head. hyunjin shot up when he realized he had fallen asleep. he fixed the red-tinted glasses slipping from the bridge of his nose. “sorry.”

“it’s fine…” seungmin pulled the other closer so he could rest his head on his shoulder again. at first, the older tensed under his touch, but he eased right away. wanting to finish the movie, seungmin decided to watch it alone. the thing is, seungmin was confused whether his attention is really on the movie or on the labored breaths of the man beside him– hyunjin fell asleep. for his sanity's sake, seungmin wanted to believe it's the first one. he wondered if hyunjin was okay, though.

"hey," seungmin tried to shake hyunjin awake, only to get a grunt as a reply. he lightly chuckled at the other's behavior, amusement filling his eyes. he took his phone from the coffee table before snapping a few pictures. _that's what you get for sleeping through a movie you suggested we watch._ "hyunjin, the movie is over."

“kim seungmin, delete my photos on your phone.”

seungmin ignored his protest.

☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


“oi, seungmin.” the man in question was turning off the television when hyunjin called for him. he did not think twice before turning his head. 

“yeah?”

“you said you have chro… chromesthesia, right?” hyunjin yawned before occupying all of the space on the couch. “can i ask you something?”

seungmin walked over to hyunjin upon unplugging the appliance. he doesn’t want his shared electric bill with minho a little more than what they pay for. “technically, it was the prof who said that but yeah, i guess? what do you wanna ask?”

hyunjin sat up to give seungmin some space on the couch. “promise me you won’t laugh first.”

“am i really a goofball to you?”

“no but…” hyunjin hesitated. “actually, don’t worry about it anymore. it’s kinda silly.”

“tell me now. you started it already.” the wall clock above them reads 3:22. minho won’t be home until 7:00, luckily.

seungmin couldn’t count the number of times hyunjin sighed before continuing, but he was thankful he got over his own nerves in the end. “um... so you said you see colors in sounds?” seungmin nodded. “i was wondering if… i was wondering…” hyunjin the inside of his bottom lip. “i was wondering if you can describe colors to me… through songs?” hyunjin couldn’t remember how he came up with this idea. all he remembers before falling asleep was wondering how the cherry blossoms in the movie looked like.

“oh…” seungmin scratched the back of his neck and hyunjin felt a little conscious. he hoped that seungmin didn’t find it stupid. “sure, i guess? hold on.” seungmin stood up from the couch to get something from his room. when he returned, a pompompurin airpod case was hanging on his index finger. he sat down once again and gave hyunjin the other half. “wear this.”

hyunjin obliged, although a little ashamed. seungmin scrolled through his spotify playlist before unlocking the phone— _iu and suga’s eight played from each of the buds._ as if seungmin had completely read through hyunjin’s mind, he spoke. “this is how the cherry blossoms looked like.” 

iu’s lulling and dulcet voice calmed hyunjin down, his worries subsiding. he‘s more than grateful that seungmin didn’t find the request odd in any way. if anything, he’s also thankful he let him know that cherry blossoms are _this_ pretty. during suga’s part, seungmin annotated. “this song is like the embodiment of cherry blossoms. sometimes, they’re blushy pink, but they can go as dark as fuchsia. coincidentally, the lyrics match the concept of cherry blossoms, too. everyone wants to live in the beauty of innocence and serenity sometimes, but one way or another the moment will wither, and we can only look back on it with bittersweet smiles.”

hyunjin turned his head on seungmin, amused with his description. for once, he understood the beauty of colors. “you should definitely use your creativity with words on our song.”

“you did not have to tell me.”

for the next hour or so, the two listened to different songs and seungmin patiently described to hyunjin how they looked like to him. it exercised his brain enough for him to be confident that he would finish his pending creative writing paper later. when it was time for hyunjin to go, there was a smile on his face and a promise of a next time.

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


“hyunjin, i beg. please don’t lean your big head on my shoulder.” jeongin mumbled, his eyes not leaving the projector screen. if they were a little closer to the front, hyunjin would’ve been reprimanded by the professor. “what time did you sleep last night?”

“you mean today? 5 am.”

“what the hell…” jeongin sighed before pulling out hyunjin’s laptop from its laptop bag. He opened it on top of the sleepyhead’s desk and opened it, giving the illusion that hyunjin was still participating. “fix your sleep schedule.”

“thank you, innie.”

“whatever you say…”

hyunjin spent the rest of his night finishing an assignment due 2:00 am, which was also something he had almost forgotten to do if no one in the group chat talked about how weird the deadline was. while he was able to submit it in the nick of time, he still didn’t sleep because his brain was too active to shut down anymore. he decided to rewatch _koe no katachi_ (since he slept through it) and then mope for another hour. hyunjin thought he could survive with an hour of sleep but the first period tired him too much that he couldn't stay up for the third and last period anymore. jeongin must’ve seen through his struggle.

when the class dismissed, jeongin blew on hyunjin’s earlobe. “you’re free.”

“what the…” hyunjin saw that there are only less than seven people inside the classroom, him and jeongin included. he yawned loudly before clinging onto jeongin’s arm, wrinkling the younger’s yellow sweater. “innie, help me up.”

“what are you, two?”

“please? also let’s go to the cafe outside the campus. i need to stay active for later. i doubt i’d be active for the rest of the day without caffeine.” it took hyunjin several tugs on jeongin’s sleeve before the raven-haired man agreed.

“you’re such a pain in the ass. i can’t stay there though because i have my next class in less than an hour.”

“noted. love you.”

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

walking home from the university was a bad idea, even though hyunjin has a cup of large iced americano on his hand. firstly, he forgot to bring his hoodie with him and the temperature continuously dropped. he should’ve read the weather forecast before leaving the dorm. he should’ve taken felix all bundled up as a sign too. now, the only way to fend himself from the wintry breeze is his knitted sweater and ripped jeans.

he felt a little warm though when he turned to the next street.

“hyunjin?” a familiar honey voice rang through his ears, unconsciously pulling the corners of hyunjin’s lips into a smile

“sup, seungmin. just finished your class?”

“yeah, no. let’s not talk about uni. i hate it there sometimes.”

“good for you that it’s only sometimes.”

“that’s not good at all?” seungmin chuckled before jogging towards hyunjin to walk beside him. “how’s today then?”

“kinda okay, though i was sleepy as hell in case you wanna know.” hyunjin sighed as he rubbed his arms for heat. “i’m guess today was bad for you.”

“not really…” seungmin sluggishly walked but made sure that his pace somehow matches hyunjin’s. “just very draggy. also, got additional paper to finish.”

“sounds bad to me.” hyunjin shrugged his shoulders as they turned towards the corner. “you have anything to do after saturday class?”

seungmin looked up at the sky— it’s close to golden hours. “don’t think so. you?”

“if i somehow finish my report tonight then none.”

“great, then you wanna hang out?” 

“i was about to ask that!” hyunjin giggled before nudging seungmin’s shoulder, causing the latter to slightly lose his balance. seungmin just scowled.

“after-class hangout it is, then.” exactly after seungmin said that, they stopped in front of the dorm complex’s entrance gate. “i hope tomorrow you’ll give me my well-deserved mint choco.”

“i know a place, don’t worry.” hyunjin smirked before walking ahead of seungmin and towards his building. "see you tomorrow, seungmin!"

"of course!"

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


"sungie~~" hyunjin stood up from his seat to face jisung and tower over him, who was busy stuffing his school supplies inside his backpack. "sungie…"

"what do you need? damn you impatient brat." their elective class had just ended and jisung wanted to go out of the classroom as fast as possible.

"is it your shift in the ice cream parlor today?" hyunjin tapped jisung's to pressure the other. sadly, jisung didn't seem fazed.

"no. why are you suddenly interested in my job?"

"i was just gonna ask if you can give us discount coupons. you know, employee perks?"

"what the… is that the only reason why you asked me?" jisung zipped his backpack with an exasperated sigh and hyunjin felt the need to snicker. "also, _us_? are you seeing someone?"

"yeah, exactly." hyunjin swore he heard jisung mumbled a curse word. "and no, what the hell? my project partner and i just wanna plan this whole thing over bowls of ice cream or whatever." a few rows behind them stood seungmin waving goodbye to his friends, renjun and yeji, he assumed. 

"whatever you say…" jisung dug inside his pocket for his wallet. he snapped his fingers at hyunjin when he saw that he still has extra coupons. he handed a couple to him. "all for you, amateur social butterfly."

"haha, thanks baby~" hyunjin went grabby hands on jisung but the younger swatted his hands away before they could even touch him. "why don't you join us, though?" now hyunjin felt dumb for asking that upon taking a closer look on jisung. he looked… a little better than usual— styled hair pushed back with a supreme headband, burberry coat hugging his body, black fitted jeans, and his favorite pair of white boston platform shoes. with the younger feeling self-conscious under hyunjin's scrutiny, he had connected the dots. "shit, han jisung, are you the one seeing someone right now, then?"

"i am not…" jisung trailed off as he stood up from his seat, ready to flee from the scene. "...seeing you for the rest of the day. goodbye!"

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


"wow, this shit is good!" seungmin exclaimed as he shoved a teaspoon of his mint choco ice cream in his mouth. hyunjin rolled his eyes.

"sure, everything tastes better when it's free…" hyunjin leisurely scrolled through his phone to check jisung's text from the past hour. quite frankly, he enjoyed freaking out on him while he was on a "little date".

_"hwang hyunjin, he's here…"_

_"holy fuck why is he so pretty"_

_"hyunjin, how do i tell him that i feel like puking?? not a bad puke but like imVERY NERVOUS!!!!?"_

_"hwang hyunjin are u purposely ignoring me?"_

_"i gave u fucking coupons answer meeeee"_

_"fine then… i hope you choke on your ice cream"_

jisung's last message was from half an hour ago so hyunjin didn't bother replying anymore. he thought he already had his dilemmas solved. "gay bitch.."

"who?" seungmin lifted his head up to look at hyunjin. "me?"

"are you?" hyunjin laughed as he lifted his phone up. "my friend… he was having his gay shit problems."

"ah…" seungmin chuckled before rinsing his throat with lukewarm water. "i'm not though. bi, yes."

"i appreciate your honesty, thank you." hyunjin scooped his ice cream, mint choco too. "bis recognize fellow bis and you're looking real familiar with your cuffed denim jeans."

"you saw that?" seungmin looked down, his mouth forming an "o". "thanks for the validation."

"no problem." they ate in relative silence, clearly too engulfed to initiate another round of conversation. neither could come up with a topic too, anyway, since they already talked each other’s ears off while waiting for their orders. hyunjin looked down on his half-finished bowl— bits of rich-colored chocolate swim in a pool of light gray, ice smoke emanating from it. “um, seungmin?”

“yes?” seungmin answered inquisitively, not expecting the other to talk until they’re done with their food.

“what song reminds you of mint chocolate?” even though seungmin already told him that asking him about colors and sound is okay, hyunjin still couldn’t stop the growing heat on his cheeks.

“wait, good question! let me look for something.” hyunjin patiently waited for seungmin to scroll through his playlist once again. seungmin smiled at hyunjin before noding his head. “put this on.” he handed hyunjin the other half of his earphones.

“huh, what happened to your airpods?” nonetheless, hyunjin inserted the bud in his ear, excited to hear the song the other would play through it.

“let’s just say i’m gonna need to look for it later when i get home.”

“you’re insane…” right after he said that, motte’s soothing voice filled his ears. “seungmin, what song is this?”

“ah, it’s motte’s _diving into you._ you should really check her out.” seungmin tapped his fingers to the beat of the song against the wooden table. hyunjin, on the other hand, tapped his platform shoes on the tiled floor. “her voice in general exudes a minty vibe. so cool and refreshing, right?”

“very…” hyunjin hummed with relish. “gonna search about her later.”

“good, because that’s how mint choco looks or sounds like— an invigorating mint with bursts of rich chocolate brown.

“i think i like mint now” hyunjin giggled before laying his hands flat on the table in front of them. 

“it’s pretty, that’s so valid. it kinda suits you.” seungmin playfully lifted hyunjin’s index finger for a split second, but for hyunjin, it was enough to stall his breathing, whatever the reason may be.

hyunjin mentally shook his head. “man, i don’t even know if you’re shitting with me. should i accept that as a compliment?”

“up to you…” seungmin said a matter-of-factly. “your honey-like skin tone would body it.” there is something with seungmin’s way of words that sends hyunjin to a frenzy even though the colors are nothing but jargons to him. before, he was unimaginably jealous of seungmin’s ability, but now, he wants to hear every piece of information about colors that he could offer.

“i guess i’ll trust you on this, sweetheart.”

the endearment, which hyunjin said out of impulse, sent seungmin to fits of coughing, choking on his ice cream. hyunjin’s eyes widened and so did seungmin’s. the former hastily filled seungmin’s glass with water and handed it to him. not trusting his own voice, seungmin just took it from hyunjin’s hand, still a little shaken up. “you good?”

“i’m still alive so i think so.” seungmin giggled, the sound slightly muffled by the napkin he was using to wipe his lips. hyunjin zoned out on seungmin’s face, heedless and unaware, upon hearing the sound. “what? something wrong with my face?” hyunjin snapped out of his daze sheepishly. he dug his nails on his arm before pinching it. _hyunjin, snap out of it._

“nothing. i’m just feeling sleepy as usual. shall we get going?”

  
  


okay, maybe hyunjin got an _itty bitty crush_ on kim seungmin.

it’s blurry to him when and how it started, but that hangout in the ice cream parlor surely played a part. hyunjin was too afraid to call it a _date_ in his head since deluding himself won’t do him any good. what he is aware of is that seungmin’s talking voice is as sweet as his laughter, making him feel ecstatic yet tranquil all at the same time. how his patience on and acceptance of him feel like an oasis in his dreadful desert of university life. how through him, he’s beginning to fall in love with the colors he used to hate. how — _shit. maybe it wasn’t just an itty bitty crush._

hyunjin dove face first on his fluffed pillow to muffle his screams. he shouldn’t be crushing on someone _this_ fast. it’s gonna cause him more harm than good and he’s not ready for another heartbreak. one upside about this whole this was that his thoughts exhausted both his mind and body, allowing him to drift off and make up for his lack of sleep.

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


it's been 2 weeks since the professor gave them the project and as much as hyunjin wanted to slack off, he needs to be considerate of his partner, too. and so on a tuesday evening, when seungmin told him he's free, they decided to video call. the agenda, in seungmin's words, "for today's meeting", is getting to know each other more, and hopefully in a deeper sense. as expected, it didn't go as smoothly as planned.

"hyunjin, be honest and creative with your answer please. how the fuck will i exterminate minho-hyung?" seungmin ran his hand frustratedly on his hair as he tried to move his laptop screen away from minho.

hyunjin wheezed while adjusting the angle of his own laptop propped on a bed table. "everybody likes him except you, seungmin. give it up already."

"seungmin?" felix's enthused scream enlivened the room. seungmin recognized the voice.

"oh i beg you, hyunjin, don't let felix–"

"don't let me what?" felix appeared beside hyunjin, a bag of crushed brownies in his hand. "want some?"

"i wish i could."

felix high-pitched laugh, contrasting his speaking voice's tone, caught minho's attention, unfortunately for seungmin. "was that felix?"

"no, i am not letting you all gang up on me–"

"hey, brownie boy!" minho made efforts to appear on seungmin's screen, squishing him to the corner with the help of the wall. "what's good?"

"brownie boy?" felix laughed as he waved his hand. "i'm good. i'm good. i wish that's the case for seungminnie over there, too."

"best believe i'm not enjoying this." seungmin rolled his eyes and hyunjin could only enjoy the scenario. maybe he'd join the taunting later. "okay that's enough. shoo, the both of you. i'm trying to have my moment with hyunjin. do you mind?" felix just shrugged nonchalantly, still chewing on the brownies, before waving goodbye without a word. minho didn't falter right away. in fact, a smirk was plastered on his face.

"i see, then. enjoy your call with your–"

" _please_ , go to hell."

"only if you won't be there." minho laughed before waving at hyunjin. "bye, hyunjinnie."

"bye, hyung!" hyunjin waved back until minho was out of the frame, just a frustrated seungmin facing him. "you good?"

"make a guess." hyunjin laughed in response while pulling his comforter close to him. felix already turned off the air conditioning but it's still freezing cold. too bad they don't have a heater. 

"i think i'd rather not say my answer." a yawn escaped hyunjin's lips, making the other yawn from the other side as well. "what the– anyway, where were we?"

"i think we were talking about hangout places when you need to clear your mind."

"yeah, okay! so as i was saying, i often go to hangang park whenever i need to make big decisions or i just feel like being dramatic." seungmin laughed at the last part but nodded his head, understanding that. "and then… as if the river magically heals me, i make better decisions the next day." truly, hangang park became one of hyunjin' safe spaces ever since he moved into the city. it was the only place where he could truly express himself, his vulnerability and all, without anyone judging (or caring). “you?”

“the funny thing is that i don’t really have a specific place to go when i need to calm down. in general, i just like going somewhere high, where i could see the buildings or the crown of the trees. it makes me think that for once, i feel like i’m in control.” hyunjin admired seungmin’s answer and there was a pang of envy in his system because he’s not that into high places. he does want to experience what seungmin was describing, though. “anyway, once i got discharged from the hospital after that god-awful accident, hangang park was actually the first few places i went to. my parents thought they'd lose me so they let me have my own ways for quite some time." 

hyunjin felt a smile form on his face the second seungmin finished his brief narration. he was happy to know that seungmin still had a great life after everything. "d-do you recall what happened that day? sorry if–"

"nah, i was kinda expecting you'd ask that earlier." seungmin laughed as he shifted on his seat. "it was silly because i was so excited to see someone that day, but i never told anyone that it was the reason. all this time, all they know was that i was too excited to drop by the fishcake stall near the school. i– hyunjin, are you sleepy already? we can end this, you know?"

"no, i'm not." hyunjin unmounted the table and placed the laptop flat on his bed. there, he lied down sideways while looking at the camera, trying to hide that he's _actually_ sleepy. seungmin's talking voice really has that effect on him. "carry on. i'm listening."

"so as i was saying, i can't remember who that person was, probably because i tried to repress some of the things about that day, but i hope they're doing well. it's a shame that for the rest of my high school life, as much as i thought i experienced a lot, i also thought i experienced nothing. yes, i did have a lot of free time to try new hobbies, but i still wondered how prom was, you know?" seungmin looked at his screen to wait for hyunjin approving nod but all he saw was a mop of blond hair in disarray yet made it possible to still frame hyunjin's sharp but delicate features. between locks of hair were his feline-like eyes with dozens of eyelashes enhancing their beauty, a tiny mole accentuating his left one. from his full, plump lips escapes the the sound of his soft breathing through his earphone's built-in microphone. there was something about hyunjin drawing seungmin closer but he couldn't decipher what. hoping he'll be able to discover it in the morning, he whispered a "good night" and let himself fall asleep in front of his laptop– not disconnecting the video call.

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


"are you crazy? why didn't you disconnect?"

"it's not you paying my internet bills. don't mind it." seungmin retorted while inserting a wrinkly bill inside the beverage vending machine. "banana milk?"

"thanks." hyunjin easily caught the box of milk as soon as seungmin threw it towards him. it was a rough school day so hyunjin needed all the good luck he could hog— including free drinks. "glad to know you like banana milk as well." 

"you're welcome and of course, we're like soulmates." seungmin half-jokingly muttered while elbowing hyunjin's side. hyunjin thought that them being soulmates is not much if a delusional claim, though. "let's sit over there." a few more steps from where they were are some of the campus' newly-varnished wooden benches which were also repainted and revamped by fine arts students. with a huff, hyunjin dropped his entire weight on the seat, contrasting seungmin's effort of not making the rickety old bench creak. "hyunjin, was today that ba–"

"yeah, very." seungmin sighed at hyunjin's answer– he haven't seen him so worked up in a while. "goddamn that history professor. totally the bane of my existence."

"what did he do?" seungmin laughed as he looked at hyunjin who was looking far ahead, probably zoning out on random people passing by. he hoped that they won't feel uncomfortable by his company's action.

"his visual aids are always so hard to comprehend and he talks like a slowpoke while reading the contents of his slides. man, i could do it too, given he fixes his shit, so i just needed him to discuss the extra stuff. then his moody bitch ass gave us a shit ton of papers to work on." at the end of hyunjin' mini rant, he pretended to wipe imaginary beads of sweat on his forehead. "and that is just the incomplete version of hyunjin's hellish arc today."

not knowing what to say, seungmin just pulled out his song, then after his earphones. "here, i think you need this." hyunjin gave seungmin a questioning look before taking the other half. aside from all the good luck he needed he also needed to try all the calming interventions being offered to him. soon after he had plugged the bud in, hyunjin slowly felt the flare in his nerves die down. seungmin felt how hyunjin wasn't as tensed as before (since his left side of the body is pressed to his right one)— lucy's _flowering_ making wonders on his remaining sanity.

"jinnie…" it was seungmin's first time to use such nickname and to say that he was nervous of the other's reaction was an understatement. when he only got a hum of approval, he eased up. "sometimes, when i think the world is spinning too much and i couldn't focus on anything, i listen to this song, especially since the color palette is so beautiful." hyunjin mentally scoffed, not that he meant to do it. _how will he understand?_ "look behind you."

hyunjin did what he was told. he was greeted with dozens of mallow flowers lining the anthropology building's fence doubling as a garden. the mauve petals mingled with the greens of dewy leaves bouncing off the light grazing their surface. even if hyunjin couldn't see the color, he couldn't deny that the view did make him feel something else other than frustration. 

"i know you didn't ask about the color of this song nor the garden's natural palette, but i just wanna make you realize that while things feel extremely disorienting at the moment, the few remaining reasons why we hold on will still be there, waiting for you to notice them again."

hyunjin couldn't understand exactly what seungmin wanted to say, but the mere fact that the younger went out of his way to cheer him up was enough to give him a fuzzy sensation in his system. with nothing else to reply, he leaned his head against seungmin's shoulder, taking in the vanilla scent emanating from him. to his pleasure, seungmin kept his head still. "rest up."

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


it is only a matter of time before their project should be handed in. meaning, they would have to pick up the pace of their progress. even though it's somewhat counterproductive, according both to felix and jisung, hyunjin, for the last time, asked for another "hangout".

this time, though, he promised that they would try their best to make progress beforehand. seungmin suggested that they should drop by the loft coworking space nearby. with the ambience serene and professional, they thought that they'd be able to finally get things done.

_but that was not the case._

a slightly unfruitful and systematic brainstorming and an unfathomable number of discarded drafts later, they found themselves leaving the place almost empty-handed. they decided to take a walk home to clear their minds and to revive their stiff limbs.

amidst the intense blowing of the wind, the cold permeating under the layers of their already thick long coats, hyunjin requested that seungmin slow down with his walking. mostly because they're sharing wired earphones, but also because he doesn't wanna go home yet. interestingly, as they made a turn to the corner of a jewelry shop, hyunjin came up with a question.

"seungmin, are you mentally awake?" seungmin didn't answer verbally. instead, he just hummed and hyunjin continued. "so, about the sky right now, can you describe it to me using a song? i always wondered how pretty they are."

seungmin stopped in his tracks, slightly catching hyunjin off-guard that he bumped on his back. he looked up with shielded eyes— the sun is sitting very low in the horizon. without answering hyunjin's question, he pulled out his phone from his pocket, the one where the music they're listening to comes from. the song playing was all time low’s _nightmares_ , but seungmin's fingers hovered over another song, not letting the classic finish— you are by got7. hyunjin immediately smiled upon hearing the first few seconds of what he claimed as one of got7’s best songs. “you’re not fucking with me, no? is the sky really _this_ pretty?” the younger just shrugged and continued walking, which prompted the older to do the same.

"hm, see, _you are_ is a very colorful song." hyunjin scoffed, half annoyed, half amused. seungmin nudged hyunjin's side with his elbow. "yeah, no really. you have a bit of knowledge about colors and their supposed vibe, right?" hyunjin just nodded. "now, i'll let you make a guess of what i see."

they're nearing the next street but seungmin spotted a wooden bench in front of a semi high-end apparel store. he gestured for hyunjin to sit down on it so he could follow after. for a solid minute, they let themselves listen to the voices of each member flowing smoothly along with the chemistry of beats and melodies. seungmin couldn't help humming a little and he only stopped when hyunjin exclaimed an "oh!".

"yeah, you have any guesses?" seungmin turned his head towards hyunjin who was looking at the fairly busy road ahead of them. right now marks the end of another work day to most.

"i could give it a try. i think i do." hyunjin scrunched his nose up before giving in to his mental debate. "i– i think _you are_ looks like a... blue with orange?"

"kinda close, but missing by a lot." seungmin commented and hyunjin huffed. "it's kinda like a swirl of lavender and rosy pink, and then a few touches of dark blue or azure. maybe add a little yellow and blotches of orange? so yeah, you hit a few targets."

"that's oddly specific."

"those aren't even the exact shade names or whatever of those colors." seungmin laughed before bumping his left knee with hyunjin's right one. "let's get going. it's gonna be nighttime soon."

the walk towards the dorm complex felt comfortable and nice, save for the few occasions they shivered because of the drop in the temperature. when they've made it past inside one of the convenience stores inside the hectares of land the university owns, seungmin snickered. "jinnie, oh god, you look like day6's _beautiful feeling_ right now."

"huh? what's that supposed to mean." his sweltering breaths of air contrasted the ones swirling outside

"here," once again, seungmin scrolled through his playlist and pressed _beautiful feeling_ , only this time he didn't let hyunjin make his own guesses and interpret it.

"okay, how do i start? firstly, your mustard knitted sweater is peeking a litte bit under your beige coat. that's how wonpil-sunbaenim's voice looks like— a mixture of the two." hyunjin giggled at seungmin's emphasis on _wonpil-sunbaenim—_ the self-proclaimed myday president can't hide his fondness for him to save his life. hyunjin closed another button of his coat upon seungmin pointing it out. the younger thought he should continue.

"oh, and this ruby red headband you’re sporting right now? well, that's kinda one of the colors i see when jae sings. you should wear it more often, just a side note. it looks nice on you." hyunjin's interest heightened. he nodded at the other to talk more. “and then of course, your red-tinted glasses.”

"okay now, this part— the pre-chorus, sungjin's part." hyunjin quipped, his hands both on either side of his waist. “what colors can you see that you can relate to me? also why the hell did i remind you of _beautiful feeling_ all of a sudden? you're weird."

"hey, i told you i love this song, and when i say i love a song, that means it's either pleasant to my ears or very colorful. sometimes, it could be both. i basically have the color scheme of this one engraved in my mind." seungmin retorts confidently and hyunjin can only roll his eyes. "as for this one, it's the both part."

"alright, i get it. tell me mo—"

"let's pause it for a moment." seungmin unlocked his phone to stop the music before it could get to young k's part. "i need to finish the sungjin one first."

"oh, alright."

"okay, sungjin pre-chorus. sungjin's voice in this one is a vibrant and lush green, kinda like the leaves of a tree entering summer from spring."

"wait, i'm not sporting green now, am i? i don't recall felix saying i'm wearing green or what." hyunjin suspiciously eyed seungmin, while the latter just bursted out laughing.

"yeah."

"then what was that explanation for?"

"nothing, i just think green is a very pretty color."

“bitch." hyunjin attemptedly steals seungmin's phone, but seungmin tried to push the former away from him (which is in vain because hyunjin actually has a strong upper body).

"i'm not yet finished, you impatient brat." seungmin clears his throat before explaining again. this time, the song was already at young k's part and seungmin thought he should loop the song. "young k's part now does remind me something about you." seungmin took a step closer to hyunjin, his hand leveling hyunjin's face. "young k's voice in here looks like a shy red and pink blotching something beige. something like how the blush in your cheeks are coloring your honey skin because of the cold air." seungmin pinched hyunjin's cheeks using both of his hands and the older wasted no time swatting them away.

"what the hell, don't do that!"

"okay, okay!" seungmin defensively holds his hands up. "let me walk you to your building now."

"don't wanna..."

"what? you want us to be human popsicles soon? let's go "

seungmin was about to walk a step towards the east wing when hyunjin tugged at the sleeve of seungmin's coat. to the older's surprise, and most of all to the younger's, hyunjin pressed a chaste and umpropted kiss on seungmin's cheek, dangerously close to the corner of the latter boy's lips.

"ah, shit..." hyunjin pulled away, ultimately letting the bud on his ear fall off. as if an unspoken mutual agreement, none of them said anything, only staring in shock. the music continues to play in seungmin's ear in 60% volume while hyunjin is left to listen to his own racing heartbeat. "seungmin, i'm so sorry about—"

hyunjin hates dramaesque scenarios, but here he is, pulled closer by seungmin, his chapped lips on the latter's softer ones because of the younger's initiation. hyunjin didn't know how to react, and most likely seungmin is surprised with his own action, too— his eyes are wide open. but why did hyunjin close his eyes and snake his hands onto seungmin's nape?

of course, that lead to seungmin gasping, but closing his eyes as well, and a tiny, unfamiliar part of hyunjin wishes that this, _whatever this is_ , lasts. with their lips moving against each other, seungmin found the courage to interlace his hands behind the small of hyunjin's back, all while nipping at the older's lower lip. it didn't even take long before their tongues are inside each other's mouths, savoring the warmth being offered to challenge the wintry weather.

seungmin saw colors bursting behind his closed eyelids, because his left ear bud miraculously didn't give up on him. he can faintly hear wonpil whispering "it's beautiful, it's beautiful" and seungmin can't help agreeing— this is _indeed_ a beautiful feeling. a beautiful angel has his beautiful lips moving with his while his equally beautiful body is pressed close, making him feel explosions of ecstatic and comfortably beautiful warmth bubbling inside his stomach. he felt like burning along with the orange-y colors of dowoon's voice alluding to the continuation of the last chorus. he couldn't help sighing in satisfaction.

when the need of air couldn't be ignored anymore, hyunjin detached himself from seungmin. his face is flushed in an even darker shade of pink from earlier, that seungmin he couldn't remember the name of (but it sure as hell matches with the color of his plump lips).

the sky is already dark as the sun has already started its slumber. a few stars are starting to pop out and pretty sure, some of them are just covered by a cluster of gray clouds. seungmin looked down on his feet and breathed out. hyunjin turned to look at the rows of lamp post leading to the security guards' headquarters.

after a couple of _extremely awkward silence,_ hyunjin spoke for the first time after their "little incident". "are you cold?"

seungmin crushed pebbles under his combat boots before looking up to meet hyunjin's face, except that the older weren't actually looking at him when he popped the question. with what energy left in him, seungmin answered. "y-yeah? you wanna go back to your dorm?"

"i think? but you're from the other side of the building and you must be freezing to death so i think i should go ahead and you go to the other direction because that's where you should go and i can manage making it to my dorm safely because lixie is a kind person and he will probably beat up anyone who dares harm me so... yes, good night. stay warm?" hyunjin breathed out a very uneccessary explanation, causing his cheeks to puff up.

"okay, y-you. good, yeah. uh, night, too. stay w–" but before seungmin could finish his sentence (or make up for the lack of a coherent one), hyunjin already sprinted to the other direction, leaving seungmin suffering in silence.

  
  


☆☆☆☆

a loud bang startled felix from his sitting position, criss-cross-apple sauce on his own bed while playing with his switch. he quickly paused the game to peek out from the bedroom and yell _"jinnie, be careful with the door."_ when hyunjin stayed silent, felix resumed his game. of course, that didn't last long, because he heard a clattering in the kitchen the next minute. felix suddenly worried for his friend. "hyunjin, are you al– oh my god!"

hyunjin is one hell of a view— his metal water bottle rolled away from his grip while he is sitting on the floor drenched in what his water bottle used to contain.

"what's going on?" felix snatched paper towels from the countertop to dry hyunjin a little bit. he tried to help him get up but hyunjin only pulled him down, specifically beside him, causing felix to hit the floor hard butt first. "what the hell–"

"lix, i'm in deep, _deep_ , trouble." hyunjin whines against felix shoulder, his wet hair soaking the freckled boy's pajama shirt up.

"is this certain "trouble" by any chance, involving kim seungmin?" hyunjin just sighed in response. "oh shit, tell me more!" 

hyunjin lifted his head up to punch felix's arm. he swore he could see felix's face depict pain. "don't use me as your stress reliever, damn." felix raised his eyebrow suspiciously. "also, why is your bottom lip busted?"

"oh my fucking god..." hyunjin opened the refrigerator beside him to hide his face, but most importantly to cool him down. felix just wheezes on the floor.

"oh our hyunjinnie, don't be shy. be happy it's me you're with and not jisung because you'll surely never hear the end of this."

when hyunjin felt that he could face felix again, he closed the refrigerator door, his one hand covering his mouth. after all, they cannot afford a higher electricity bill. "please stop using that nickname! it's annoying and mouthful."

"you sure? is it not because seungmin called you that?"

"no, and fuck you he really didn't i swear on my life." hyunjin suddenly wanted to stick his face inside the freezer.

"okay, calm down. tell me what's up." felix sat up, his face showing an inquisitive expression. "what happened?"

"oh, i don't know, lee felix. i think i accidentally ran towards a pole and busted my lip? of course we made out. i kissed his cheek and i don't know why i did that and then he kissed me full on the lips and then–"

"that's so blunt, oh my god. i don't need the details." felix mockingly covered his ears. "also, it's not like you've never ran towards a pole before."

"lixie..." hyunjin sighs, his eyes suddenly mirroring gloom. this activated felix's protective side— the one that has "hugging" as its default comfort tool. hyunjin's eyes started to water. "i'm so confused and nervous. what if he avoids me?"

"jinnie, i promise he won't." felix massaged hyunjin's scalp with his left hand, while his right one is still holding hyunjin close. "i mean, you said he kissed you, right? i'm sure this isn't something a talk over a cup of coffee couldn't solve." hyunjin calms down under felix's touch and soothing voice. "my point is, i don't think he'll avoid you after this. after all, it's too wuss of him to do so. while there might be some unknown tension between the two of you, which i'm betting is a good one, you should probably sort this one out as soon as possible." hyunjin whines. "fine, when you're in the right headspace already, but that shouldn't last a week, god's sake."

"love you, lixie." hyunjin sniffs as he returns felix's hug.

"love you too, jinnie, even though your nickname probably reminds you of something else now." felix let his other hand fall from hyunjin's head to meet the one that's pulling hyunjin into a hug.

_"on a second thought, lee felix, i actually despise every fiber of your being."_

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

the next day, hyunjin woke up two hours earlier than usual. he squinted at the digital clock on the bedside table— 3:42 am. felix is still snoring on his own bed and hyunjin never felt so jealous. he wanted to sleep peacefully too, but he knows he can't do that since he's not the type to fall back asleep easily. way to go for having a weird body clock or something.

the moon hung low on the daft sky, clusters of clouds wasting away as the night air mercilessly blew on them. It’s a shame that while the rest of the city is fast asleep, his eyes are wide open no matter how much he tried to have some shuteye again. 

there are only exactly three days left before the deadline and hyunjin’s anxiety is picking up, but the project was not the only reason why he couldn’t sleep a wink anymore — he doesn’t know where he stands in seungmin’s life anymore after _that_ . to hyunjin, the feelings he had poured out the second their lips met was no playful experiment . as much as he hated to admit it, he had realized that he is harboring feelings for the younger. if before he was just part of his life, after yesterday, suddenly, seungmin is part of his every breath, his very will to live. from the songs on his playlist to the names of the colors that had left their imprint on hyunjin’s brain — everything is suddenly about him. hell, even the sky, no matter its state — dotted with constellations or throwing flames — reminds hyunjin of seungmin, mosty for the reason that he made him experience its divinity, and only secondly because his english name is _sky_. 

hyunjin figured there’s no turning back now. if he receives a cold and harsh rejection, at least he had given himself the power to express his adoration. he would still be professional and responsible enough to finish their project whatever happens. 

_“seungmin, i know you’re free later and we need to hurry up with this thing. would it be fine if i come over?”_

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

it was almost 9:00 am when hyunjin's eye peeled open, the streams of sunlight kissing his once closed eyelids, burned through his eyeballs. he quickly shifted position to avoid the agonizing pain. he reached for his red-tinted glasses on his bedside table, haphazardly knocking out his alarm clock. he didn't bother fixing it anymore as he only had one thought in mind— has seungmin replied?

hyunjin hurriedly unlocked his phone, only to see no message, not even a sign of seungmin's existence. his blood ran cold. he couldn't be purposely ignoring him, right? it's still early, so he's probably still asleep.

but 9:00 am turned to 12:33 pm and 12:33 pm turned to 4:16 pm. hyunjin grew concerned. wanting to deal with all of this already, he wrapped himself up with a padded coat and strutted to the younger's dorm.

hyunjin was visibly shaking even while being under the feigned comfort of the building. with him becoming more of a regular visitor, the receptionist paid no attention to him pressing the elevator up to the third floor.

with a sigh and a whisper of prayer, hyunjin knocked softly and warily on the wooden door, hoping someone from the other side would turn the knob (maybe not minho though). much to his dismay, it was seungmin's silly nemesis. "oh, hyunjin? what's up? you wanna come in?"

"yeah, i think so…" hyunjin trailed off as he tried to peer through the narrow space between minho and the doorway. "is seungmin there?"

a frown was etched on minho's face and hyunjin got the idea. "he'll be back soon, hopefully. come inside first. i just finished brewing coffee."

hyunjin couldn't explain it, but there was a sense of concern emanating from him. did something happen to seungmin? or worse, _does he know what happened to them?_ before he could even ask himself another question, the older came back with a steaming mug of coffee and a piece of garlic bread on a saucer. "you wanna watch something? do you need something else?"

"no, don't worry. thanks for these. i could use a little energy or something." hyunjin forced a laughter before taking a sip, the liquid giving his insides the comfort he constantly deprives of himself. minho just smiled before turning his back on him, attempting to go inside his room. before hyunjin could stop himself, he called out to him. "um, actually. maybe i need a little advice… and a company."

minho shrugged his shoulders before nodding his head. he walked towards the sofa where hyunjin is situated and gently sat down. there was an uneasy feeling in the air, something similar to when someone needs to say something but couldn’t— minho continuously shifted in his seat while hyunjin fidgeted with his fingers. minho took the initiative before clearing his throat. "uh, did something happen… between you and seungmin? you don't have to answer if you think i'm being intrusive."

instead of getting an offended reaction, which was what minho was expecting, he heard a sigh, followed by hyunjin's shaky voice. "i guess you could say that." hyunjin played with the stirrer dipped in his mug. "i think i might've done something wrong."

"look, i know i'm an outsider in this and… i shouldn't have known what happened, but of course seungmin had to–"

"hyung, it's fine."

"oh, alright…" minho cracked his knuckles, releasing tension, before he continued. "all i'm saying is that you didn't do anything wrong. i don't want his thoughts and feelings to come straight from my mouth so i suggest that you see him on the rooftop of the accountancy building. you know changbin and chan's dorm?" hyunjin nodded his head, befuddled. "good, i'm pretty sure you'll see him there."

"hyung… thank you so much." hyunjin offered a genuine smile even though his eyes were starting to gloss with tears. "thanks for the coffee, too."

"you're fine, hyunjin." minho laughed before patting the younger's back. "now go head and run. you're gonna be fine. he will be, too."

  
  


who was hyunjin not to oblige? his shoes slightly untied, he ran as fast as he could, as much as his legs could carry and as much as his lungs could take. he didn't mind if he looked like a weirdo to a bunch of students— all that mattered was seeing seungmin. he ran up several flights of stairs, skipping a couple of steps every once in a while. he just hoped he'll be able to make it alive. but then again, it's as if the only way to extend his life was breathing in the same air seungmin inhales. with a violent swing, hyunjin opened the door to the rooftop, revealing seungmin sitting alone and playing with a wooden stick. the sudden presence of the older alerted seungmin that he almost lifted the stick up in the air.

"seungminnie, it's just me."

"hyunjin?" seungmin squinted his eyes, not expecting for him to meet him up here. "how did you—"

"seungmin." hyunjin reiterated, legs quivering and chest heaving. seungmin eyes widened at his state that he stood up from the bench and walked towards him.

"what the hell, breathe. why were you even running _this_ hard? is there something up?" seungmin assisted hyunjin towards the bench. he mentally cursed himself for not bringing a bottle of water with him. "do you need me to get you water? can you wait for me here?"

"n– no. h–no, i'll be o–okay." seungmin rubbed circles on hyunjin's back to help even out his breathing. in return, hyunjin clung onto his arm. "stay here."

"o-okay…" seungmin mumbled and sat down beside an exhausted hyunjin. "did something happen?"

"you were not answering my texts. i thought you're mad at me."

"wait, really?" seungmin fished out his phone from his pocket and bit his lips. "sorry, this is a dead spot." hyunjin whined. "but i swear, i'm not mad at you. why would i?"

"i don't know… i mean– i'm not sure either." hyunjin slumped on his seat, too weak to explain his thoughts.

"hyunjin, i cannot be mad at you…"

"but why are you up here? you said you only go here when– when you need to clear your mind… when you need to make a big leap or whatever. are you alright?"

seungmin smiled, a genuine yet cautious one. underneath the glow of the sun, his sweat glistened. "i needed to and yes, perhaps you can say that." seungmin sighed, his hands a little shaky. hyunjin waited for him to continue, to say something that would expound his thoughts. but instead of words leaving his mouth, his hand reached for hyunjin's, his thumb brushing over the back of his palm. "but i think i know the answer now."

hyunjin tensed up. he didn't want to read into things. he didn't want to assume. but with the way seungmin is acting, he couldn't be blamed for being hopeful.

"hyunjin, i know this feels very weird and very soon, and you can shame me or curse me however you want for being sappy or whatever but–" seungmin momentarily stopped. he looked at hyunjin's eyes mirroring anticipation tainted with uncertainty. he willed himself to continue. "but these past few weeks, there was something that shifted in my life… something that helped me perceive the world in a once unfamiliar way, and i never thought i would. when we met once again, i felt something strange, a connection i couldn't shake away and i thought it was just the feeling of yearning for a rekindling of friendship. turns out, it's not just that." seungmin sat down on the bench himself, scared that his legs would fail him. "because of you, i see the world differently and i realized that while colors, or the lack thereof, hold their own beauty, they would mean nothing without you breathing in meaning into them. remember when i told you i was excited to see someone the day of the accident. it took me three sleepless nights to remember that it was you. funny because my fondness never faded, i guess." seungmin laughed nervously at hyunjin's stunned reaction. "do you think it's weird how we still crossed paths even after leaving our hometown? i don't. _hwang hyunjin, you were meant to paint colors in my existence. allow me to do the same thing for you._ "

not a single word was uttered for a long while. if not because of their erratic heartbeats and the distant chirping of the birds, there would be nothing but complete silence. seungmin closed his eyes, feeling pathetic and scared. _he thought maybe hyunjin doesn't feel the same way._

  
  


_except hyunjin was just not the best with words at the moment, yet his lips can still convey his feelings._

the warmth from hyunjin's touch reinvigorated seungmin's cold body, thinking he wouldn't receive the touch he so longed for. it was at that moment that seungmin realized there was nothing for him to worry about.

the kiss was chaste yet it answered all the questions swarming in seungmin's head— every single one of them. 

hyunjin rested his head on seungmin's shoulder, a gesture the younger would have to get used to from now on. with a lingering kiss on his jaw, hyunjin spoke up. "let's stay for the sunset."

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

there’s only two days left before the deadline and hyunjin was on the verge of losing his mind. If they somehow manage to wing this thing, he would consider it as one of his best achievements, aside from winning seungmin’s heart over.

_“minnie, what do you think about writing a song about colors?_ ” hyunjin sat up from the floor, his black button-up slightly wrinkled. seungmin turned his swivel chair around to face hyunjin.

"jinnie, are you sure?"

"yeah? is there anything to lose? i presume none."

seungmin had a lopsided grin on his face. "i'll be very willing to work on that with you."

the night unfolded quite eventfully. after an hour of brainstorming and writing, another hour of recording, a total of 3 hours of producing, two emptied tumblers of espresso, a tower of bunched up music sheets, and a short make-out session to take a break, the two were finally done with their project.

"minnie, i'm tired~." hyunjin dragged his words to show emphasis. he leaned back on the sofa while seungmin sat cross-legged on the floor. his eyelids were drooping and hyunjin bit the insides of his cheeks to stop himself from cooing.

seungmin noticed it, though. he looked at hyunjin through half-lidded eyes. "what?"

hyunjin just shook his head before patting the empty space beside him. "sleep here."

a whine escaped seungmin's lips as he couldn't bear to move places anymore. his energy was all spent to say the least. hyunjin wasn't deterred. before seungmin could fully lie on the floor, hyunjin pulled seungmin's arm, causing him to jerk up. when the younger glared at him, hyunjin just shrugged. seungmin chose to obey. instantaneously, hyunjin pulled seungmin close to him while the latter hid his flustered cheeks using his hands. hyunjin giggled. "why are you hiding?"

seungmin kept his mouth shut while shaking his head. it's quite endearing how seungmin may still act shy around hyunjin after all the heart-pouring, tear-jerking moments they have shared— being vulnerable is not new to them anymore. hyunjin hated the silence so he squished seungmin's body, the latter squirming under the older's strong and burning touch. "the fuck are you doing?"

"sometimes, you're so cute when you're shy." hyunjin mumbled while placing his chin on seungmin's shoulder. seungmin rolled his eyes.

"no, shut up. you're saying nonsense again."

"stop deflecting my compliments!"

"why would i?" seungmin whined. "i look like a fucking zombie?"

"are you dumb?" hyunjin deadpanned. at that comment, seungmin's eyes shot wide open.

"what the fuck are you saying?"

"because you are," hyunjin replied before leaving a peck on seungmin's earlobe, and eventually his forehead. "have you seen yourself in the mirror? not even sleep deprivation can take away your beauty." that earned a sigh from seungmin. "now lie down on my thighs. they're better than pillows."

"i'm heavy" seungmin interjected, still not giving up on their banter.

"seungmin, stop being stubborn for once and get some rest."

"fine…" seungmin made himself feel comfortable, multiple yawns racing out of his mouth. "by the way, that was so cheesy and you know i would've punched your arm if i wasn't sleepy. don't do it again."

"I know," hyunjin chuckled before gesturing at seungmin to swing his arms on his torso. "that's why i only had the courage to say it now. i love you, my beautiful prince."

"hm, i love you too, peasant."

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


"holy shit, this is so cool!" felix exclaimed after listening to the song that landed the couple an **_a_ **— not at all bad for a product of cramming.

"you mean cheesy as hell." minho jokingly said before stretching his limbs. "but ah, that was actually very pretty. didn't know seungminnie is into cheesy shit."

"same sentiments, hyung. didn't think you're into _cheesy shit_ , too " cheesy shit in question happened to be jisung— who would've thought that he was the one jisung was seeing? none of them guessed. they moved under their noses.

"nice, i'm leaving. it's not fun to be a fifth wheel anymore." felix whined as he planted his face first on the carpet of seungmin and minho's dorm.

"about that, do you know that– ow!" minho nursed his waist at jisung's sudden blow. "the fuck?"

"let him figure out on his own…" jisung mumbled before giggling and felix huffed.

"spill that shit."

"not today, not tomorrow, not from me." jisung spoke in a singsong manner. "but there's someone for you around the corner."

"you all became extra annoying after being in love… sickening."

"everything is annoying to a bitter single." seungmin blew a kiss towards felix's direction, causing the aussie to cringe.

"i fucking hate every single one of you."

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


colors— a simple yet complex word one is expected to learn from the very beginning. from incorporating it into our daily lives to basking in the glory of it in general. it's a vessel of opportunities, a catalyst that sparks intricately-woven possibilities. but then again, colors don't always come in the form of varying tints, complicated palettes, confusing labels, and beauteous tones. 

sometimes, colors can exist in rich laughter, two souls unifying— forming a hue so unique no one could ever replicate, on a mark on the body, during a surreal experience, and in a person who didn't have to see what they objectively are in order to make the other half of his heart bursts in them.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reaching the end of this story <3 i really appreciate you for reading this. kudos and comments would be highly appreciated :))))) once again, thank you soooooo much !!


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